


Heal Me

by Fairycoordinator



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Camp Half-Blood, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-09 16:28:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 38,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4356254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairycoordinator/pseuds/Fairycoordinator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will can heal Nico in more ways than one. solangelo</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It had been two weeks since Nico got out of the infirmary.

Not much had changed.

He had insisted over and over that he was fine, that no, he didn’t need anyone’s help. And now that he really was fine there was a small part of him that wanted to go back

_so that he could see him_

no, he wasn’t going to think about that.

There wasn’t much to be done after Gaea’s fall. Nico hadn’t done much but lament the loss of his aviator jacket and try to keep as much time as he could to himself. He had been instructed by the Apollo kids to eat more, but since the battle he hadn’t, and they pestered him almost daily once they saw how baggy his clothes were getting to be. Nico was already too skinny, he didn’t need to lose any more weight, he knew that, but he couldn’t help it. Meals in the mess hall had always been a source of stress for him, and lately they had been even worse.

Nico was always made to sit at the Poseidon table with Percy and his friends, who were nice and loud and funny, but during conversation Nico always found himself drifting, his eyes and his mind. And he always felt himself drift towards the same thing, that person, like gravity across the dining hall.

The Apollo table sat two tables from Percy’s. Nico liked looking at them. They were all so close with each other, brothers and sisters all over each other. The table was so bright that Nico couldn’t help but stare, and in the middle of the gleam was Will Solace.

Will was beautiful.

Nico had tried, had tried really hard, to describe it another way. But he couldn’t. Everything about Will; his face, his smile, the way he carried himself, just screamed beauty in a way that made Nico’s head spin. He tried to ignore it, tried to look at Piper or any of the other Aphrodite girls, but he always caught himself turning back to look at Will.

And the worst part was that Will had caught him staring. Not once, but several times. Nico would be looking in his direction, and all the sudden Will would look up and their eyes would meet. Will would smile, his blue eyes shining, and give a small wave or nod or some other cute mannerism that made Nico blush

_don’t blush!!!_

but it didn’t matter, he still did. Then Nico would look away hurriedly and the next few times he gathered up the courage to sneak a glance at the Apollo table, Will would still be looking at him. At that was around the time where Nico would say he was done eating and retreat back to his cabin.

Will and him never talked.

Besides the embarrassed glances and mandatory meetings, Nico tried to avoid him as much as he possibly could. It was just awkward to be around Will, the opposite of himself, all happy and laughing and light. And after the infirmary, Nico was embarrassed. He didn’t like to be seen as weak. Of course Will had tried his hardest to make Nico feel welcome amongst his siblings, but NIco, not being used to it, found the constant cheerfulness hard to stomach. As well as the nagging feeling that he and Will should be alone. The more he tried to ignore his feelings for Will, the worse they got.

It didn’t help that he no attraction to girls whatsoever. Hell, he didn’t even know if Will was gay. To most people, it was probably pretty obvious, but Nico didn’t want to assume anything until we was sure. And to make it worse, he didn’t have a crush on Percy anymore. At least he could handle having a crush on Percy, because it had been there in his mind for so long, something normal, almost like an afterthought. But no, Will was new and in his face and was, Nico feared, not leaving anytime soon. It made him uncomfortable how often he found himself thinking about the other boy, almost like Will was invading his space. He was not going to admit he had a crush on him. They didn’t even talk.

_who are you kidding?_

He forced himself to climb out of his thoughts.

Around him, his team was getting ready to play capture the flag. Percy caught his eye, Annabeth helping him to fasten his armor straps. As he watched, she smiled at Percy and he smiled back, and the whole thing seemed just so natural and open that Nico’s heart hurt. He looked around for Will, before remembering that he was on the other team. Before remembering that he wasn’t supposed to be looking for Will.

All the sudden someone clapped him hard on the back, and Nico was sent pitching forward, his half secured armor creating unfortunate momentum. Just as he thought he was going to lose his balance

_thank gods Will isn’t here to see this_

the person behind him grabbed his armor straps and hauled him back up, laughing. Now Nico knew who it was.

“You weigh like ninety pounds, man, even with armor!”

“Hello, Jason,” Nico said moodily.

“Who were you looking for?” Jason asked, walking around to Nico’s side. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, probably for fear the would be broken in the game. Nico couldn’t blame him. Capture the flag at Camp Half-Blood could get rough, even by Roman standards. Even though Jason hadn’t had glasses for very long at all, it was still weird for Nico to see him without them. Their absence made his face look strangely unformed, which wasn’t true, since Jason had always had his chiseled Roman features. His face was so different than Percy’s, and yet something about them was the same. Nico had never really felt attracted to Jason really, though he had to admit that he was good looking. He was just a little too perfect. And too perspective for comfort.

“I’m not looking for anyone,” said Nico, looking away towards the woods, to maybe make it seem like he was contemplating some kind of battle plans. Yeah, that was it. Battle plans.

“Sure,” said Jason. “Met any new friends lately?”

Nico scoffed. Jason knew full well what his response would be.

To Nico’s surprise, Jason looked concerned. “You should really get out more, Nico,” he said. “You’ve been spending a lot of time in your cabin, and you haven’t been eating. You should come hang out with us sometimes, you know everyone, they’d be glad to have you-”

“Thanks,” Nico snapped, then immediately felt bad. He knew Jason was only trying to help. He was just trying to be nice, liked everyone else. Like Will.

“Sorry,” Nico said. “But I have it under control.”

“Just checking. If you ever want to, you have an open invitation,” said Jason, smiling. His smile always looked a little lopsided to Nico because of the scar on his lip. But it made it look more genuine.

“Thanks,” Nico said softly.

“Hey, don’t worry,” Jason said. “It’s all cool.” He paused. “Your armor’s not tight enough.”

Nico tensed, like he always did when people touched him. Jason noticed.

“Chill, man, I’m just fixing it.”

“It’s just a reflex,” mumbled Nico, embarrassed.

“What are you going to do when you get your first boyfriend then?” asked Jason as he pulled Nico’s strap as far is it could go. “Man, it’s still too big.”

Nico drew in his breath sharply. It still bothered him to hear people, even Jason, discuss his sexuality openly. Even though all his friends knew for a fact and everyone else suspected it, he didn’t want everyone to know just yet. Maybe in time. If the right time ever came.

“Don’t say it so loud,” Nico whispered, taking a step back.

“Come on,” Jason said, now whispering back. “I’ve seen the way you stare at Mr. Sunshine from the Apollo cabin.”

Nico gasped slightly. Had it really been that obvious? “I don’t stare at Will,” he said, too quickly.

“You know, everyone can always tell when you’re lying. You’re so pale that you blush. I know you’re looking at him. What, did he spell-bind you with ‘doctor’s orders’?”

“No!” Nico sputtered. “I don’t even talk to him.”

“You should. He smiles back at you.”

“Why are you always looking at me? Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

“I’m worried about you. You’re our little Nico,” Jason said, grabbing Nico and putting him in a headlock.

Nico tried to pretend that it didn’t hurt, but what with Jason’s huge arms, it kind of did. He swatted the bigger boy off of him. How did Jason know about Will? He inwardly groaned. He would never hear the end of it. Darkness in love with the sun. But he knew Jason was good about keeping secrets. He had kept the original one after all.

Nevertheless, he was glad when Percy and Annabeth walked up to them. As Nico watched, Percy’s armor slid out of place again, despite Annabeth’s efforts. Nico stifled a smile. That was Percy for you. Annabeth had told them once that Percy had made her watch Finding Nemo with him three times in one day. Nico was pretty sure he would have crashed after thirty minutes. But Annabeth was a good girlfriend. Nico was glad that he had put aside himself so he could appreciate how symbiotic their relationship was. It just worked. It didn’t seem like it would, but it did.

Percy was still good looking as ever; his tan skin and piercing eyes, lean muscles. Those eyes used to send a start through Nico, and they still did sometimes. But not that much anymore. Percy was just neutral. Not as comfortable as Jason, but in all honesty, just a friend now. Nico was glad that they had kept at least that, after everything they’d been through.

“Hey, you guys, get in formation!” said Annabeth. She narrowed her eyes. “Nico, your armor’s practically falling off you. You need to eat some food.”

“Oh really? Everyone only tells me that about five times a day.”

“Relax, Nico. I was just kidding,” Annabeth said, smiling her patient smile that she seemed to use the most often with Percy during his ADHD moments.

“Sorry,” said Nico quickly. “It’s fine.”

“Let’s get going,” said Percy. “That flag’s not gonna capture itself.”

“That’s lame, bro,” Jason said as they walked towards the woods, and Percy half-smirked.

“You’re lame, bro.”

“Not as much as you, bro.”

“Stop saying bro,” said Annabeth, pretending to be exasperated. “You’re both stupid.”

She giggled as Percy kissed her loudly on the cheek, pulling away. They headed in the trees in the opposite direction, and neither Jason nor Nico felt like following, feeling like they would interrupt something.

“I’m heading up, see if I can’t surprise them from the back. You coming?” Jason asked.

“Nah, I’ll think I’ll stay around here,” Nico said.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine. We don’t want to super strong people going at Piper at the same time. She might faint. See you after we’ve won.”

And with that, Nico watched him disappear into the foliage.

The starting signal went off soon after that, and Nico found himself at a loss for ideas. He ambled around aimlessly for a while. Maybe he could try seeing if he could scout out the other team? He was about to turn around when suddenly the ground beneath him gave way and he felt himself falling.

He tried to stop himself, putting his arms up to try and cling on to something, but only managed to scrape his arms against some protruding branches. He cursed fluidly as he hit the bottom hard, dust momentarily clouding his visions. He touched his arm, and found it wet. His fingers came up red. Damn it. Of all the things he could have encountered in the woods he had fallen for a stupid pit trap. All because he hadn’t been paying attention.

He was just about to somehow try and climb up the sides of the pit

_why the hell was he so small?_

when a face popped into the circular opening above.

_oh shit_

Nico hurriedly pretended that he wasn’t trying to rock climb a smooth dirt wall.

Will Solace’s face looked down at him, a look of mingled surprise on his face once he saw who his victim was. And then came a look of horror that was so exaggerated that Nico wildly thought he would laugh.

“Oh my gods, are you okay?” Will yelled from up above. His voice sounded so concerned that Nico almost died a little. He forgot to say that he was okay. He was, anyway, now that Will was here.

“You’re bleeding! Oh no, I don’t have a first aid kit or bandages or anything-”

“I’m fine,” Nico said, flustered. He flashed a thumbs-up. Gods, why did he have to do that? That was as lame as Percy. Jason would have a field day if he was here.

“Hold on, I’m gonna get you out of there!” said Will, and turned away from the opening.

“Wait, what are you-”

A rope was dropped into the pit. Nico was embarrassed. He figured that Jason or Percy could easily get out of the hole on their own, hell, probably even Annabeth or Piper, but what with his complete lack of upper body strength he was secretly glad someone had come to rescue him. Who knows how long he would have been stuck. But really, of all people, it had to be Will to rescue him out of such a humiliating situation? He gritted his teeth and tried to make it as easy as he could for Will to hoist him up.

After what seemed like ages Nico rolled out onto the forest floor, coughing dirt. He realized that Will could potentially feel obligated to help him up and rose to his feet before that could happen. But Nico instinctively pulled away as Will took his arm in both hands anyway, trying to look at the scrape along its side.

“Sorry,” Will said nervously. “Does it hurt to touch?” Nico noticed that Will was fighting for dominance between his doctor instincts and the nervousness the between the two. Nico hated it. But at the same time it came him as a cheap thrill, to feel that awkward tension between them, just to know there was something there.

“It’s fine,” Nico said dismissively. “I can still play.”

“No!” Will blurted out, before falling silent, embarrassed. “What I mean is, that I- we- should clean it. It could get infected and develop into something serious, you know.” He scratched his cheek

oh my gods he is so fucking cute

and looked at Nico, eyes expectant. It reminded Nico of a dog looking for his owner’s permission to do something. That was it. Will Solace was a puppy. Nico was a cat.

_that came straight out of left field. ...._

Nico tried to clear his head of the frantic, wild, thoughts that filled it. WIll still looked at him expectantly.

“Look, Nico-”

Nico tried not to show the thrill he got from hearing his name roll of Will’s tongue. He had never heard his name sound more musical, sweet-sounding, in his life. He could listen to that for hours.

“I really think you need medical-”

“Yeah, sure,” Nico said quickly, ending the matter.

“Great!” said Will, taken slightly off guard. He beamed at Nico, standing there.

“Let’s go then?” Nico said cautiously.

“Oh, right!” Will laughed a little too loudly. “Let’s go.”

As he started walking Nico saw him shake his head a little. At least Nico wasn’t the only one that was inwardly smacking himself at his stupidity. Though to him, he doubted Will could say anything stupid. Everything that Will said was so freakin cute that it made Nico want to

_let’s not think about that right now._

The walk back to camp, though fairly short, felt like ages for Nico as he trailed behind Will, afraid to speak. Though they were the roughly the same age, it was embarrassing how different they were. Had Will’s shoulders really gotten that broad in such a short time? Or had Nico just not noticed? His friends told Nico that he was getting taller, but Nico seriously doubted that. He was convinced he was shrinking. Bianca had always told him that one day he would hit a growth spurt. Nico hoped it was soon, before everyone could get too much taller than him.

As they walked, Nico listened to Will hum. Will had a strange selection of tunes, boy bands to Journey, and always in that slightly, ever so slightly out of key tone. Nico once had that crazy urge to jump in. But every time he worked up his courage to, his nerves would bite it back down. He ran over maybe thirty conversation starters in his head, but just as he would open his mouth, he forced himself to rethink.

That’s too childish. That’s too generic. That’s too boring. Uhhhhhh whyyyy

When they reached the infirmary, Nico stood in the doorway awkwardly. He remembering having stayed there not long ago, laying on the bed, or being stubborn and sitting up and refusing to sleep. He would never admit it, but he liked watching Will work, when he was so in his element.

“You can come in and sit down,” said Will, opening the cabinet and producing bandages.

Nico sat down on the bed, his heart racing. He had seen Will heal people before. It usually involved touching them.

He drew in his breath as Will approached him, pulling up a chair in front of him.

“Give me your arm,” said Will. He acted so much like a real doctor that Nico suppressed a smile.

“Your arm?” said Will again, smiling. Nico was entranced, almost, he felt like someone from the Hecate cabin had put some magic on him. He felt dazed.

“Oh right,” said Nico, trying to smile back. He tentatively held out his arm, mentally cringing at how skinny it was compared to Will’s toned ones. As Will grasped his arm he tensed at the touch, even though he had tried as hard as he could not to, for once.

“Just relax your arm,” said Will helpfully, looking it up and down, wiping the blood off with a towel soaked in stuff that stung. Nico winced against his will. Come on, he was better than this. He had survived freakin Tartarus. Antiseptic wasn’t going to do anything to him.

“I know, it stings,” added Will. “Believe me, I’ve worked with it enough that every time I get so much as a paper cut it manages to find its way there. Here, I’m done.” Will threw away the towel and scooted closer, causing Nico to lean his face back.

“Okay, here goes,” said Will. His hands were warm and steady against Nico’s arm, and Nico marveled at how strong yet delicate they seemed, broad enough to wield a sword but intricate enough to pull back an arrow. They were artist’s hands, from his father; long fingers and a deft touch. Nico remembered the electricity he had felt when Will had first touched him, after he had delivered Hedge’s baby. It was the same thing now. He hadn’t gotten any more used to it.

Will began to hum Apollo’s hymn, the Ancient Greek softly flowing out of him like it was more natural than English. Nico watched, transfixed, as the gash on his arm slowly shrank and faded, until it resembled no more than a two week old remnant. Will lowered Nico’s arm carefully.

“There.”

“Thanks,” said Nico shyly, getting up to leave.

“Wait!” said Will, jumping up from his seat. “I need to put a bandage on it!”

Nico looked at the practically closed wound. “I don’t think-”

“Doctor’s orders,” Will breathed, looking Nico in the eye.

Nico’s heart skipped a beat. Those blue eyes could swallow him, he could drown a thousand times.

Doctor’s orders. How many times had Will said that, when he was here last? It had become almost a running joke between them; a small, unspoken one, but one that Nico considered to be there. Why hadn’t he talked to Will since then?

_oh yeah, because every time I try to I can’t say anything._

Nico allowed himself to give a small half smile that he prayed wasn’t as awkward as it felt. His chest flooded with relief when Will smiled back, shyly, but a smile nonetheless.

Nico let Will press his arm with bandages. He was about ninety percent sure it wasn’t necessary, but a tiny part of him hoped madly that he would end up having to stay in the infirmary forever. But most of him was scared at Will’s touch, and the close proximity. He wanted to distance himself, to dissolve into the shadows, where he could keep his thoughts and his feelings to himself. He forced himself to be brave.

Why was it that he could face monsters, gods even, but he couldn’t look Will Solace in the eye? He could handle shadow traveling across continents with a freaking statue strapped to his back, but he couldn’t deal with the simple touch of his fingers?

“So, how’s camp?” Will asked as he secured the bandage.

Nico jumped. He hadn’t been expecting anything to be said.

“It’s fine,” Nico said quickly, trying to hide the embarrassment he felt at being caught off guard.

“You’re in your cabin a lot,” said Will. “What is about it that’s better than the rest of camp?”

“It’s not that it’s better,” Nico said slowly. Will had finished with the bandage, going to the sink now to wash his hands.

“What is it then?” Will asked, his back to Nico.

Nico tried hard to come up with an answer that wasn’t a complete lie, because he knew the truth

It’s because I’m still not used to all these people and because I’m scared about how I feel about you

_one hundred percent, no doubt._

But what he said was, “I don’t know.”

He felt a surge of affection when Will only nodded, and didn’t pursue the topic. Everyone else always bothered him, asked him why he was so introverted. He’d think they’d know by now. If Will knew, he didn’t let on. Nico hoped he didn’t know. He got even more nervous just thinking about it.

“Oh,” said Will, clapping his hands. “While you’re here, I have something to go over with you.” He opened a bottom drawer and extracted a laminated sheet, emblazoned with the food pyramid.

“I’m not in first grade,” said Nico, turning red. Why was it such a problem with everyone when it came to his eating habits? He was the son of Hades. He could eat like he wanted to. So if that meant a bag of chips one day and nothing the next, that was how it was going to go. Sometimes he was hungry, sometimes he wasn’t. It also didn’t help that every time he went to the dining hall he had to face the glance-off with Will. And if Jason had picked up on it, who knows who else had?

“Actually,” said Will, sitting across from him again, “you’d be surprised how many adults don’t even know what a balanced diet looks like. You need your strength, Nico. I have no idea how you kept yourself going during all these battles you’ve gone through.”

Figurative or literal battles?

“So, if you’re convinced you know this already, name the food groups.”

“How many are there?” asked Nico. They didn’t have this stuff back in the forties and thirties.

“Five main ones.”

“Okay, umm… vegetables?”

“Good!” Will looked so genuinely pleased that Nico found it hard not to smile.

“And then, fruit. I don’t know about the other ones.”

“Meats and proteins, dairy, and grains. You need to eat a certain amount of servings each day. You haven’t been doing that, right?”

“Not really. Does anyone do this exactly though, really?”

Will flushed. “Well, not really. But you should try to. The number of servings isn’t really the point.”

“But you just said that.”

“Nico!” Will protested. As soon as he said it, he looked embarrassed. Nico was too. Had he annoyed him? Gods, he hoped not. Just as they were getting into a sort of banter. Why did he always have to screw everything up for himself? The short conversation had surprised Nico. He felt awkward. He wanted to get out of this tiny room. It was becoming claustrophobic.

_no no no no why do I always have to get like this just when I’m actually getting somewhere?_

Will was smiling, his nice, easy, smile. But it did nothing to reassure Nico, instead, it just made him more aware of his own awkwardness in the room.

“Just take the sheet,” Will said, and as he leaned in to hand it to Nico, Nico recoiled fast, too fast.

“Are you okay?” asked Will, looking confused. He cocked his head to the side.

“I’m fine,” said Nico, grabbing the laminated sheet as quickly as he could from the beautiful hands, trying not to touch them.

_I can’t let this happen. I can’t have a crush on him._

_why did I mess this up?_

_why am I so scared?_

“I have to go,” Nico said. “Thanks for everything.” He rose from the bed and headed towards the door, clutching the sheet tightly in his hand.

“Oh, uh, bye,” said Will from somewhere behind him, but Nico was already letting the door close behind him.

He felt terrible.

_You’re pathetic._

He cursed himself all the way to his cabin.


	2. Chapter 2

Nico stayed up for most of the night, thinking.

He could still feel the touch of Will’s hands on his arms, and he couldn’t shake it off.

And therefore, he couldn’t sleep.

 

He was also mad at himself. Why couldn’t he have stayed in the infirmary for a little longer, just a few minutes more?

 

_just a little bit more_

The bent food pyramid instructional was on his dresser. It was always dark in the Hades cabin, but he knew that outside it was light; he could hear the chatter of the rest of the camp heading to the mess for breakfast. Had the night really gone so fast? Nico groaned, rolling out of bed.

He had dark circles under his eyes. Normal for him but

 

_what if I see Will?_

maybe he shouldn’t even go to breakfast. Then he wouldn’t have to face his inability to keep his eyes to himself, and probably now Will’s eyes wandering over to him, looking at his plate to see if Nico was eating all his damn food groups.

His heart was beating

 

_you're messed up_

 

already.

He craved just to be next to Will, but when he was there; and in all his light, he wanted nothing more but to run. But wanted to stay at the same time. And here he was, feeling guilty about it. But also being scared to face him. And also wanting to see him again so badly that it hurt.

Eventually he decided that facing the Will’s wrath for not showing up to breakfast was worse than the potential embarrassment of being caught staring. It’s not like he would have to talk to Will, anyway. For now Nico just tried to press his hair into some kind of management.

He followed the stream of campers to the mess hall. Most everyone was wearing their camp t-shirts. Nico had pretty much refused to wear his, and now he wish he hadn’t. Maybe then he wouldn’t stick out so much. He walked to his usual spot at the Poseidon table, which was already almost full. His friends weren’t the kind to wait for a meal. Patience wasn’t exactly their strong suit.

Patience wasn’t Nico’s strong suit either, but he had learned after having waited and waited for years.

He slid onto the bench next to Annabeth, across from Piper and Jason.

“Not a morning person?” Annabeth said slyly.

Nico grunted. While he had been distracted, some wood nymph had already served him cereal without even asking. He didn’t have time to be annoyed, however, because he could tell that someone had come up to the table.

When he looked up and saw it was Will he jumped so much that Jason laughed.

 

_why does he keep popping up everywhere?_

Will stood there holding a plate of food, the sunlight illuminating him from behind, making his hair look gold. He was wearing some kind of bro tank (Nico found that word funny, how far they had come from the nineteen forties) and Nico could see his arms, all toned and tan and

_stop staring_

Yes, Will was his father’s son, through and through.

“Hey, can I sit with you guys?” Will asked, smiling slightly nervously. It was strange to Nico that Will was a little scared to ask to sit with Percy and his friends, reminding Nico of elementary school or something. He guessed it hadn’t really been that long since the seven had done all their heroics. At this camp, though everyone was a hero in some form of the word, Percy Jackson was at another level.

“Sure,” said Annabeth, scooting over on the bench. Nico had to focus hard on acting casual as Will sat down next to him. He blushed as he felt their shoulders and thighs touch, just for a second, before Nico had made a desperate attempt to scoot further away. But Annabeth wasn’t moving, and on the crowded bench Nico was left to sit uncomfortably close to Will. He was painfully aware that they were almost touching. He could feel Will’s warmth radiating into him.

Jason raised his eyebrows at Nico, who glared and looked the other way, towards Annabeth and Percy.

“Nico.”

He turned around much too fast, and came within six inches of Will’s face.

“Good morning!” Will laughed. “I’m glad you’re eating breakfast.”

“Oh,” said Nico clumsily, embarrassed. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Sorry.” Will smiled, cocking his head a little to the side as he did. Nico noticed he seemed to do that a lot. “I know you don’t want me to lecture you.”

“It’s fine.”

“Though, can I just say that cereal is only two of the food groups.”

Nico groaned. Will was really into his medics. “There’s raisins in it. That counts as three.”

“Nico…”

Nico loved when Will said his name that way. Actually, he liked every way Will said his name. Even if he was mad. Or if he was laughing, that was great too.

“You’re going to eat more than that, right?,” Will said, still pestering.

“No.”

“You have to!”

“It’s physically impossible.”

“No it’s not! Have some of my food.” Will pushed his plate over.

“No, thanks.”

“Come on!” Will looked at Nico, his eyes earnest and concerned. Nico was again reminded of a puppy. Will’s eyes were such bright blue that Nico found himself suddenly holding eye contact, their faces still too close.

Nico breathed in, he breathed out. He knew his resolve was broken even before he spoke.

“Fine.”

“Great! I mean, sorry about that.” Will took his fork and scraped food onto Nico’s plate. Nico sighed. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t know if he could eat everything. Over time, he had grown accustomed to minimal amounts of food.

“Is this the only reason you came over here?” he asked.

Will blushed. “Kind of,” he admitted, shrugging his shoulders. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” said Nico quickly. He had his spoon halfway to his mouth before he realized that Jason was smirking. He aimed for his most murderous glare, hoping that it translated as _I can summon dead people from the ground and I swear to the gods that I will sic them on you if you don't knock it off_.  He didn’t think it came across like he wanted it too; Jason whispered something into Piper’s ear, and she smiled, eyes sparkling.

“You seem...chipper today, Will,” said Annabeth.

_Like always_ , Nico thought.

“Yeah, well,” said Will. “I’ve been up since five.”

“What on earth possesses you to get up at five?” asked Percy, taking a whole bottle of maple syrup and all but emptying it onto his waffles.

“I like seeing the sun rise,” said Will. “You know, Apollo?”

“Oh yeah, duh,” said Percy. “Hey, you should take Nico with you sometimes. He always acts dead in the mornings. Get it Annabeth, dead? You know, cause he’s the son of-”

“I get it,” said Annabeth.

“Just making sure,” Percy responded, and before Nico knew it they were kissing, and he looked away. They didn’t really have any qualms about making out in public.

Nico thought about the idea of him and Will watching the sunrise together. It gave him butterflies, imagining the sky all streaked and painted, them sitting on the hill side

_all alone_

and then maybe Will would put his arm behind Nico on the grass, there, and then maybe he would move ever closer as his father rode across the sky, and then

 

_and then what?_

Nico forced himself to snap out of it. He hadn’t paid attention; Will had said something, but he didn’t catch it. Did he say he wanted to watch the sunrise with Nico or did he not want to? Nico didn’t want to ask, because then it would be the same as admitting he hadn’t been paying attention. It was nagging on him. What had Will said? He knew he was going to be thinking about that for possibly forever.

Just then Lou Ellen walked by, stopping at the head of the table.

“Hey guys,” she said, “Mind if I sit?”

Everyone on Nico’s bench slid down as Lou Ellen scooted on. Why did everyone want to sit on this side?

The addition of Lou Ellen caused Nico to get squeezed between Annabeth and Will.

Touching was not his thing. Even though it had gotten better after the war (hell, he had even let Jason hug him) right now he could not handle it.

Almost the whole side of his body was pressed against Will’s. Nico was ninety percent positive it was his imagination, but the areas where he could feel Will against him burned. It was almost like Will was giving off a steady heat, like… the sun.

Wow.

Nico was scared to find that he liked the feeling.

He was worried it would show on his face, being so close to everyone. He tried his best to ignore the feeling, but as the seconds ticked by it got only worse.

He was either going to punch Will or kiss him, one of the two.

He thought that maybe he was misreading his feelings. They were so hard to interpret, because they were so _new_. They swirled around his head like spirits, each one telling him different things, almost like they were fighting each other, whispering in his ear.

_stop_

Nico took a deep breath. Maybe he was going insane. Will was just sitting next to him. That was all. That was definitely all.

“Are you okay, Nico?” asked Will, leaning forward slightly to look at Nico’s face. He frowned, crinkling his brow slightly.

“What?” said Nico wildly. “I’m totally normal.”

“You look like you’re going to faint,” said Will, leaning in even closer. Their arms were touching now. Will looked into Nico’s eyes, a doctor searching for signs. It was too much for Nico.

He didn’t like how these feelings were taking control of his logic. He didn’t like feeling out of control.

_best to get away from them_

“I, uh, have to… I have to go… clean up,” he said suddenly, extracting himself from in between Will and Annabeth, almost tripping over the bench in his haste. Will grabbed his arm to steady him, but Nico pulled away before he even knew what he was doing. He swallowed at the momentary look of hurt on Will’s face.

He turned around and walked as quickly as he could from the mess hall.

He messed up again. How many times was it going to happen? Would it just be like this forever between them, with Nico running away every time Will got close?

He didn’t know what had happened. When he had to rest in the infirmary, he had dealt with it. He had even had normal, albeit bickering conversations with Will. But now he couldn’t even handle a few words.

Maybe it was because he had time to think, to process. To question what he had been doing, how Will treated him.

He always second-guessed himself. Every time something seemed to be going well, he always had to rethink it, wondering if people had been truthful, if it was real. If it had actually gone well.

But it hurt even more than usual, because he had never wanted something to be more real.

He didn’t know why Will affected him so much. Even Percy had been something he could deal with. Just barely, but he had dealt with it.

Nico had thought his problems had been buried along with the war. Apparently not.

There was a new problem, in the shape of a boy called Will Solace, who had come into Nico’s life and flipped it upside down and over and back. It was a different kind of problem, but one nonetheless.

_Will's not the problem._

Nico had never seen a person as beautiful as Will before. Will was tan and blond, good -looking. But what made him that was more his being, how he talked and how he laughed, the energy he extended to everyone around him.

Oh yes, once again, it was Nico that was the problem.

He walked to the woods, along the back of the cabins, hoping no one would see him. Once he was concealed in the trees, he could be to himself. He didn’t think about what would happen when he saw Will again, which was inevitable.

Before he could think about it, the question was answered for him.

“Nico!”

He could hear Will’s voice, slightly out of breath, from behind him. Had he been following him all this time? Nico kept walking.

“Nico, stop!”

Still walking.

He would’ve kept walking too if Will hadn’t grabbed his arm and yanked him back with surprising force, spinning Nico around to face him. For a moment they looked at each other, Nico not daring to say a word. Then Will spoke.

“Nico, what’s going on with you?”

“Nothing,” said Nico, trying to wrench his arm out of Will’s grip. “Let go of me.”

Will let go of him, but he looked almost mystified. “Why won’t you let me touch you?”

Nico blushed despite himself. “I don’t like being touched.”

“What about during the battle? You leaned on me then.”

“That was different.”

“Nico, be honest! What’s wrong with you?”

“What’s _wrong_  with me?”

“Stop being the victim, Nico!” Will yelled suddenly. “Why are you so… tense and worried all the sudden?”

“I’m not,” said Nico, taken aback by Will’s sudden anger.

“Look me in the eye and say it.”

Nico met Will’s eyes, getting annoyed himself. But his gaze softened at the determination in the blue eyes, and he found he could not help but look at the ground.

“See?” Will said, almost reproachfully. Nico winced at the hurt in his voice.

“It’s not like that, Will…”

“Then what is it? Why are you still closed off to everyone?”

Nico didn’t answer.

“Well?”

“It’s none of your business.”

As soon as Nico said it, he regretted it. He stepped back at the look on Will’s face, no longer angry, but instead just hurt and worry and sadness.

“Fine,” Will said stonily. “I was just trying to be friends.”

_I don't want to be friend I want_

But Nico didn’t get to say anything else as Will turned and walked away. He stood there miserably, not knowing what to do with his hands, with the words left hanging on his lips, not knowing what to do with himself. He watched Will leave, and it occurred to him that he didn’t seem so strong anymore.

That was the first time Will had walked away from him. It was the first time he had gotten angry.

And for someone like Will to get angry, that was something else. Nico had been the cause of it.

Had he ruined everything?

_you can't ruin something that isn't there to begin with_

But still, his heart wrenched inside of him. He didn’t think he could stay at this camp with Will not liking him. He had said “friends.” Embarrassingly, Nico had to admit that the word had hurt him perhaps most of all. It was stupid, because he knew that they had never been more than friends, but in his mind, he liked to imagine. It was a reminder that he had gotten ahead of himself again.

Will had disappeared into the distance. Nico wondered where he had gone.  

He stood there for a while, finding it hard to make his body move. He had a crazy urge to run after Will and tell him to wait

 

_I love you_

but he couldn’t gather enough courage.

As soon as he regained some of his senses, he kept walking to the forest. He had done it again. Congratulations, Nico. How many people have you pushed away now? To his disgust he felt his throat getting tight. He was not about to cry.

He pushed away the feeling, pushed away all his feelings, until he was left with a headache. But at least his head was clearer, though it felt strangely numb, and empty. But he supposed it was better than all the emotions fighting each other for dominance, one thought popping up after another.

He tried not to think about it. But as much as he tried, the emotions came flooding back at once, like a tidal wave, knocking him back.

By the time he returned to his cabin, it was past dark.

He briefly thought Will would be mad at him for not eating lunch or dinner, but then he remembered that Will probably didn’t care anymore. He looked at the food pyramid lamination on his dresser, and suddenly felt angry. At himself, at Will, he didn’t now. He crumpled it up and threw it away.

For the second night in a row he didn’t get much sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Eventually Nico felt he could not avoid the general population any longer, and decided to go to breakfast. He had thought about leaving camp. He had before, so why would it make a difference now? But he had sworn. He had made a promise that he would stay. And seeing that promise through was probably the last thing he had going for him.

But it was still excruciating to walk to the mess hall, and knowing that people were talking, whispering, about where he had been. Not that it was anything new, but it irked him that his supposed “fresh start” had dissolved as easily as his every stint at camp. Once a son of Hades, always a son of Hades. At least Hazel was a daughter of Pluto, treated with more of a scared reverence. Nico wanted to be part of Camp Half-Blood so bad it hurt. But he didn’t really know how. And in the middle of his adjustment period, when he felt things were actually going well, Will Solace happened. Actually, Nico had happened, and he had to go and be awkward and shut in and freaking weird about it all

_you didn't even know if he was gay_

Well, it was too late to find out now.

He walked to the mess hall with his familiar air of indifference. The others avoided him. People always said he gave off bad vibes when he was brooding. Literally.

He contemplated sitting alone at the token Hades table they had put up to correlate with the cabin building after the Titan war. But he decided that it would just draw more attention to him, so he dragged himself over to the Poseidon table, which was honestly really just a mix of everyone now.

Everyone started talking at once when Nico sat down. As usual, however, Annabeth was the one who’s voice cleared the din.

“Where were you?”

“I was only gone for two days-”

“Where were you?”

“Just shadow-traveling around,” Nico said, slightly annoyed. But also embarrassed. He had promised he would stay.

“Nico, you can’t do that,” said Annabeth, reminding Nico of a mother. “You’re not supposed to shadow travel while you’re still recovering.”

“I didn’t go far.”

“Do you have any idea how worried we were? You can’t just disappear and not tell anyone where you went. We were just about to send troops to go look for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Nico said, feeling guilty. He knew Annabeth’s anger stemmed from a sensitive place. Percy had disappeared without a trace not that long ago.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone that you were going? Or where you went? There’s people that care about you, you know, you can’t just think that we wouldn’t care or know you had gone-”

“Annabeth, lay off of him,” said Jason quietly. He spoke in his authoritarian tone, cutting off even Annabeth. It was one of his better attributes. When he talked, and when he wanted to be heard, people would listen. Nico was grateful to him for stopping Annabeth’s rambling, but nervous that Jason suspected the reason that Nico had gone. He avoided Jason’s eyes.

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” Nico said hollowly.

“I should think so,” Annabeth said, but she smiled at him.

With that, the topic of Nico’s disappearance seemed to have dropped. Nico was grateful to move on to other, more superficial topics, and soon he was part of a normal conversation. It hadn’t been that bad at all.

But then Will walked past them, on his way to the Apollo table.

Instinctively Nico looked up.

And Will glanced down at the same time.

And instead of it happening like it had so many times before, Will quickly looked away and kept walking.

No smile, no wave, no spark in the eye or any indication that he had acknowledged that Nico had even been there.

He had been expecting it, but his small rejection still hit Nico like a ton of bricks. He looked down at the table, trying to collect himself. He felt the wind had been knocked out of him, alone as the rest of the table continued their conversation, not having noticed anything out of the ordinary.

_what was I expecting anyway?_

He had been hoping that Will would come sit next to him and be pressed against him on the bench too small and look at Nico’s plate and scold him for not eating and all at once they would be slightly arguing but not really because there would still be that little glow in Will’s face that said I’m only playing, and I think you know

_what do I know_

Nico didn’t know anymore. He had a disease, one that made his face heat up and his heart beat at regular speeds, and Will Solace had infected him.

 

_Love sick!_

Nico really, really, did not want that to be true. Some eighty long years had taught him that there was never, ever, anything worse than unrequited love. And here he was still, in a new century, stuck in a teenager’s mind and body, even though he knew he should be wiser, where had those years gone?

Now he was rambling as much as Annabeth.

But he couldn’t help it, as panic ran rampant in his head. His mind picked a flower

_he loves me, he loves me not_

but it didn’t matter, because he had fucked this up.

It was wishful, wistful thinking that Will would somehow magically forgive him after how Nico had acted.

He hadn’t even noticed, but the time had passed without him. Everyone was getting up to move on with their day. Nico had forgotten to eat again. Fuck.

He tried to slip past everyone to get to sword lessons before they all did, but Jason caught up with him and fell into hurried step beside him.

“Hey, dude, what’s going on?”

“I’m going to class.”

“Don’t play stupid, Nico. There’s something weird going on with you.”

Nico looked straight ahead, though walking his fastest still wasn’t shaking Jason off. Damn his long legs.

“There is nothing going on with me.”

“Look, if you didn’t want anyone to know something was bothering you, you shouldn’t have run away. That’s basically like waving a red flag.”

Nico spun around. “Shut up, Jason.”

“Hey, I covered for you back there. You owe me one.”

Nico sighed.

“It has something to do with Will, doesn’t it?”

The sigh was sucked back in at a million miles an instant.

“Is that it?”

Nico didn’t say anything, his mind racing. If he didn’t say anything, it was basically the same as a confession. But what could he say?

“Nico… do you like him?”

Nico made a small noise in the back of his throat, a dying animal, about-to-say-something-but- can’t noise.

He couldn’t admit it now.

He hadn’t even admit it to himself.

“Oh my gods… I was right, wasn’t I?”

“I thought you already knew that,” Nico spat.

“Well, I was just teasing you…I didn’t think you-”

“That I what?” Nico didn’t care that he was cutting Jason off. He had good as admitted his feelings, and he was mad at Jason for making him do so. He was embarrassed, and the string of his emotions that had just been drawn tighter and tighter over the past few days snapped, Jason taking a pair of scissors and sending it flying back into his face.

“That you like him,” Jason said softly.  

“You know what-”

“So do you?”

“Why are you acting like Percy all the sudden?” Nico snapped. “Just leave me alone.”

“Come on, man, chill out. It’s totally okay.”

“No it’s not,” Nico whispered.

He hadn’t meant to say it, and one look at the unbearable sympathy on Jason’s face told him that he needed to get away from him, now, before he said anything else. He turned on his heel and flat out ran. He didn’t care how stupid he looked. He didn’t want Jason to follow him, to tell him it was okay, that he understood. Because Nico didn’t even understand it himself. He didn't want someone else to explain it for him.

It wasn’t fair.

**  
  
**

By the time Nico reached the sword fighting arena it occurred to him that he could have just shadow traveled. Too late now.

He suited up, waiting for the lesson to begin. His armor was too big for him yet again, and he was pretty sure Jason wasn’t going to fix it for him now. Immediately he felt a twinge of guilt. He hadn’t meant to get angry, especially at Jason. As annoying as Jason could be, he always meant well, at least.

Nico wasn’t allowed to use his normal blade for sword practice, so instead he had to borrow one of the standard camp swords. The hilt was clumsy and awkward, too big for his hands. He swung a few practice swings. Not too shabby, but definitely not his best. He hoped he wouldn’t have to fight against Jason or Percy. He would get destroyed.

But once he found out who his partner was, he would gladly have fought Jason and Percy at the same time.

Nico could swear the Fates were intervening with his life. It wouldn’t be the first time.

And so it was that he found himself in the middle of the arena, face to face with Will. Everyone made a ring around them, waiting for them to begin.

They stood there until finally the teacher blew a whistle and they had to start fighting.

Nico weighed his options. He wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. He knew Will was much better suited with a bow than with a sword. But with Nico using the borrowed sword and Will being bigger than him anyway, who knew. Nico knew he was a better fighter than Will, heck, of most everyone at the arena, under normal circumstances. But fighting Will was not a normal circumstance.

As Will closed in, Nico could tell right off the bat that he wasn’t focused. He tried to get himself into sword-fighting mode. He tried to imagine Will was someone else. But he couldn’t, and as he looked at Will’s face he found it harder and harder to imagine him fighting with a sword. His eyes trailed to Will’s arms, muscles drawn tight from clenching the blade. Nico swallowed. Was it always so hot in the arena? The sun suddenly felt uncomfortable. He looked around the circle of spectators, suddenly self-conscious.

And it was then that Will struck, and Nico almost fell over as he barely stuck his blade to counter. Again, Nico was forced to notice that Will was a lot stronger than he looked. It took all of Nico’s strength to push him back a few steps.

 

_Pay attention_

Will grunted, breaking contact. He tried to jab his sword at Nico, but Nico easily side-stepped. He was nothing if he wasn’t fast. Nico smiled, try again.

Will returned the gesture, but with little humor. He repeated the motion, trying to stab Nico’s armor to get him off balance. Nico dodged each strike. This was too easy.

And then he noticed that Will was slowly backing him into the arena wall. He was going to crash into it if he didn’t strike back. His next attempt was in vain, Will easily swatted his sword back. Nico was already tired. Now he finally started to realize that yes, he wasn’t fully recovered yet.

Will’s sword made contact with the breastplate of Nico’s armor, and Nico tripped backwards against the wall. It was too late now.

Will held his sword at chest level. Nico looked at him, waiting for Will to pin him there and the whistle to blow. He had lost.

But then Will let his sword drop by his side.

By reflex, Nico seized the weakness and let his instincts take over. He rammed his sword up, catching Will off guard, and sending him crashing to the ground. Nico followed, pinning him to the ground and knocking the sword out of his hand.

Nico stared at Will, breathing heavily. The whistle blew.

“You won,” Will said.

Nico realized two things.

The first one was that he was still straddling Will. He quickly scrambled off of him, hoping that no one had noticed.

The second thing was that it had been far too easy. Someone as small as Nico shouldn’t have been able to pin Will. And Will had been about to win too, and then he had let his sword drop…

Will had let him win.

All at once Nico was embarrassed, then angry. Did Will think he still needed to be treated like a patient? Like he didn’t think Nico couldn’t handle losing?

_what was he playing at anyway_

He watched Will walk away, silently fuming. Then he picked himself up and ran after him.

Will didn’t look surprised to see him. He waited for Nico to catch up with him in front of the armory.

“Why did you let me win?” Nico demanded. It was hard to keep his voice steady. He was out of breath.

“What do you mean?” Will asked. He scratched the back of his neck. Nico would have laughed, if he wasn’t so out of breath and angry. Will was a terrible liar, and Nico could always tell. Will was just a really honest person, so lying looked unnatural on him. He always made the same weird facial expression.

“You know what I mean,” said Nico, forcing himself to look straight into Will’s eyes. He suddenly felt a pang as Will looked away.

“I was just trying to be nice,” Will said, turning around and walking again.

He could have said, but I won’t bother anymore if you’re going to be like this about it.  Which is what Nico would have said to himself.

But Will wouldn’t do that, because he was Will.

All at once Nico was hit with a wave of love and hate so strong that he felt that he might fall over.

“Why do you always have to be the nice one?” he choked out. “It makes me feel like I’m a terrible person.”

Will stopped and turned around. Nico could tell that he was torn between feeling hurt and feeling sorry. Nico couldn’t bear his sympathy.

“You’re not a terrible person, Nico,” Will said, his voice swelling at the end.

“Stop!” Nico said, repulsed at the desperation in his own voice. Will looked shocked.

“Didn’t we just go through this a couple days ago? Haven’t you given me enough chances?” Nico said.

_Why do you keep making me feel this way_

Will swallowed. Suddenly he looked as scared as Nico felt.

“Because I care about you,” he said softly.

Nico felt his mouth fall open and he quickly closed it. For some reason he felt he might cry. He was aware of his own heartbeat, beating

_one, two, three march_

in his temple and through his veins. Will continued.

“If you really don’t want want me to talk to you anymore, fine. You didn’t want to be friends. So if you don’t want me to have anything to do with you, fine. It’s fine. I’ll pretend you don’t exist and you can pretend I don’t exist and in a few years we’ll never have to see each other again.”

Nico could feel his heart ready to explode.

“But just do me a favor,” Will said. “Take care of yourself.”

Just then Percy walked out of the armory, humming loudly.

Nico would have screamed, but he couldn’t make any sounds come out.

Percy paused, took a step back. “Sorry,” he said, flushing. “Was I interrupting something?”

“No, you weren’t,” said Will. “Where are you going?”

“The rock-climbing walls.”

“I’ll go with you,” said Will.

“Okay,” said Percy, looking slightly confused. As he left he looked back at Nico, mouthing what’s going on?

Nico didn’t say anything. He felt like the ground beneath his feet was going to swallow him. Actually, he’d be happier if it did.

_Because I care about you._

_I_

_care_

_about_

_you._

He ran the words over in his head, once, ten times, a million times.

Then it occurred to him what Will had said after that. And that Will was gone now.

“Wait!” he called lamely. He was talking to himself.

That night at dinner, he deliberately looked at the the Apollo table, trying to see if he could catch Will’s eye.

Will didn’t look up once.

**  
  
**


	4. Chapter Four

There was a hammering on the Hades cabin door.

Nico stupidly opened it.

It was a blond boy. But not the one Nico was thinking of. The one with glasses.

“Sorry, I’m busy,” Nico said, closing the door before Jason could proceed to talk to him.

That didn’t work. Jason held on to the door knob fast, before Nico could shut it.

“I know you’re not.”

“Yeah I am,” said Nico. He was busy. Thinking about his fucked up life.

“You’re not. You’re just listening to emo music and feeling sorry for yourself.”

So spot on it was embarrassing.

“What do you want?” sighed Nico.

“Let’s take a walk.”

“I don’t feel like it.”

“Let’s take a walk.”

“I’m allergic to the sunlight.”

“Nico, for Christ’s sake, we’re taking a walk,” said Jason. Nico was surprised that his voice had suddenly gotten stern. Somewhat reluctantly he let Jason grab his arm and pull him out into the afternoon light.

They walked to the lake, neither one saying very much until the had reached the water and Jason turned around

_shit what is he going to do_

and faced Nico straight on.

“Nico, I want you to give me a straight answer.”

With a lead in like that, Nico knew that he was not going to like the question Jason was about to ask. He could feel his mind ticking, almost like a siren was

_warning!_

flaring red in his head.

But on the outside he just nodded and acted like how he thought a normal person without a secret to tell would. Evidently he did not do a very good job.

“What’s going on with you and Will?”

The sirens screamed in Nico’s ears. Jason knew already. He knew that Nico liked Will, because Nico had pretty much spilled it all like the idiot that he was. Even without saying anything; the bitter silence had been enough for Jason, and now he _knew_.

Nico wasn’t going to let himself get read front to back, cover to cover, all the way through and through. Why was it that everyone always knew exactly what he was thinking, what he desired, what he feared? Everyone thought they _knew_ him. And Jason thought he knew Nico. It was uncanny how much Jason could discern from a facial expression, a gap in the conversation, a laugh. Especially with Nico. Actually, only with him.

Nico could feel Jason’s eyes searching him, looking for a sign. Before Jason could glean the satisfaction of boring into his mind, Nico spoke.

“We’re not friends anymore.”

It hurt Nico to say it. To send it out into the open air made it true.

Jason frowned, confused. Finally, Nico thought bitterly. He thought wrong.

“But… I thought you… had a thing for him.”

Had a thing for him. Nico didn’t like it described that way. It sounded so… empty. _Having a thing for Will_ couldn’t even begin to…

“Nico?”

He had been staring off at the lake.

“Well, he probably hates me now, so that’s done,” Nico choked out.

“What happened?”

Suddenly Nico didn’t want to say. It sounded so insignificant. He sat down and Jason sat next to him, looking out over the lake.

“You’re going to think I’m fucking stupid,” Nico said, laughing slightly.

“Try me,” said Jason, smirking back. Nico relaxed a little. It wasn’t so serious now.

“Well, after the war…” He didn’t want to tell Jason about what went on in the infirmary. It seemed a little too personal.

“After the war things got kind of… awkward between us,” Nico finished.

Jason laughed. “Yeah, you kind of flip out every time he comes near you.”

Nico blushed. “Shut up. But we were friends… I guess. And then last week he noticed that I was acting weird around him and he went to see what was wrong and I kind of acted…”

“Like how you act?”

Nico glared, but he didn’t have the heart to be angry at something so matter of fact. “Yeah, like how I act. Anyway, after we had our swordfight the other day he let me win. So I got mad at him again, and then he ended up… he probably hates me now. He said we don’t have to see each other anymore.”

To Nico’s surprise, Jason just laughed.

“Look, I didn’t have to tell you all this-”

“He let you win the sword fight?”

“Well, yeah.”

“And he went after you after you ran away from him?”

“Yeah, he did, Jason,” Nico said, frustrated. “It’s like he’s mocking me, trying to do all these things for me.”

“Nico,” Jason said. “It’s called being nice.”

“But…”

Nico let himself trail off. If Jason wasn’t there he would’ve jumped into the lake and not surfaced for twenty years. Actually, scratch that, it still seemed like a good idea. Was he really so stupid to think that Will was somehow _spiting_ him?

_It’s called being nice._

All the sudden Nico was hit with an image of Will’s face, the look on it when Nico told him it was none of his business, the expression that made him look like Nico had punched him in the heart. Maybe Nico had. He felt unbelievably guilty.

“It’s okay, Nico,” said Jason. “You can still make up for it.”

“Oh no,” said Nico. “I’m pretty sure the damage is done.”

Jason laughed. “You know, Nico, for someone who cares about Will so much, you sure don’t know much about him.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. He’ll forgive you if you go up to him. I know he will.”

“Why would he?”

“Because that’s just who Will Solace is. He’s a nice guy. And I think he cares a lot about you.”

“You really think so?” Nico was breathless, even though Will had told him himself. I care about you.

“Yeah, definitely,” said Jason. “You need to loosen up, Nico. Just see where this takes you.”

“So I should go up to him and apologize?”

“Yeah.” Jason paused for a second. “Actually, why don’t you go do that right now.”

Nico froze. Suddenly it didn’t sound like an appealing idea. “I… I don’t think I can.”

“Sure you can. Just pretend you have an injury or something. It’ll totally work.”

“I’m not going to pretend!”

“I can push you off the rockwall, if you want.”

“You know what?” said Nico, brushing dirt off his jeans as he stood up. “Bye. I’m going.”

“Good luck.” Nico nodded, starting to make his way to the Big House.

“Hey Jason?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks,” Nico mumbled, looking at the ground.

“No problem, dude. Just helping a friend.”

Nico left before he could say anything uncomfortable. He didn’t pride himself in being able to handle heart-to-heart situations. But he was grateful for it. Grateful for Jason. Jason had been the first to know about Nico, anyway, besides Bianca. And he had pretty much stuck with Nico since then. Nico didn’t know if he’d ever tell Jason, but he thought that Jason pretty much already knew how thankful Nico was to him. Not that it wasn’t embarrassing.

****  
  


As soon as Nico faced the Big House head on, he started to reconsider. Somewhere in there was Will. Will who wasn’t expecting Nico, and he didn’t want to talk to him. Probably.

So many questions. Suddenly the fake-an-injury idea didn’t seem that ridiculous. At least then Will would be _forced_ to see him. Nico’s hands were shaking and sweaty, maybe that counted as something.

Nico realized that people were staring at him just standing there, and he took a deep breath and went inside to the infirmary.

He was uncomfortably aware of how loudly his shoes rang on the hallway floor.

But he kept going, one step and another until he entered the open doorway.

Will was alone, sitting on a stool, writing something down on a form. He was wearing scrubs. He didn’t notice Nico, who stood in the doorway, not wanting to say anything. He wished Will would notice him. Now he would have to say something first.

He cleared his throat.

Will jumped, his pen clattering to the floor. Nico couldn’t help it, he laughed.

Will grinned, leaning down retrieve it. “You scared me,” he said.

Then he looked up and saw who it was.

“Oh… hi Nico.”

There was a slight pause.

“I hurt my wrist,” Nico blurted out.

_Really?...Really?_

“Come on in,” Will said, without hesitation. He really would do anything when it came to people getting hurt. Right now it was only Will’s professionalism that was saving Nico from turning flat on his heel and running.

Nico sat down on the bed, and Will drew up a chair in front of him, just like last time. And Nico felt his breath catch in his chest, just like last time.

“What happened?” asked Will, avoiding Nico’s eyes.

“I was on the rockwall and I… I slipped. Yeah.”

It was so obvious that Nico couldn’t believe that Will didn’t call him out right there. But instead Will only sighed, shaking his head slightly.

“Let me see,” Will said.

There was another pause, a gap in breath ever so slightly, a dropped beat of a heart. A slip and Nico could’ve missed it, but he didn’t, and he felt it.

Nico held out his hand, and Will took it in his. Nico hardly dared to breathe as Will turned his hand in both of his.

“Nico… you’re wrist isn’t hurt.”

“It isn't? I thought it was,” Nico said quickly. Really, this was pathetic.

“And I thought you didn’t have rock-climbing on Thursday…”

Will knew that? Nico swallowed. “I don’t…”

“Then why are you here?” asked Will, dropping Nico’s hand. He looked somewhere above Nico’s head, at the charts and graphs.

“Because…” Nico faltered. Will waited. “Because I want to talk to you.”

A brief look of surprise crossed Will’s face before he controlled himself. “About what?” he said softly.

“I want to apologize,” said Nico.

It was then that Will looked straight at Nico, and Nico had to force himself to look back, to not mess it up again. Will’s eyes

_I could get lost in those eyes_

were so bright that Nico felt the compulsion to let it all out, all at once. He didn’t want those eyes to be sad, to be disappointed in him.

“I want to say sorry for the way I’ve been acting. Like avoiding you and being distant and all that stuff. And being rude. And also for being… negative and closed in and all that. I was being stupid. I don’t want to you to hate me, but you can if you want. But I actually really want to to be friends with you, if you still want to.”

Will didn’t say anything, and for one awful moment Nico thought that it was over, and that Will would never forgive him and that was that, Nico had tried, but it hadn’t worked.

But then Will hugged him, and Nico’s thoughts evaporated all at once.

Nico was surprised, but he fought the instinct to pull away. If Will knew that Nico didn’t like physical contact he didn’t seem to care. But the thing was, Nico did like this contact. He let Will hug him, and Will smelled like Axe and he felt like a god and Nico felt like he was weightless.

And before Nico knew it, it was over too soon and Will was there in front of him, smiling, looking too adorable to be real in his too-big scrubs.

“I’m so glad,” said Will.

“Me too,” Nico said. His head was still spinning from the hug, even though it was just that: a hug. Nico didn’t know why he was so worked up about it

_you know exactly why_

but he was anyway, and he let himself bask in Will’s smile and it felt impossibly good.

“Friends?” Will asked.

“Friends,” Nico agreed.

He didn’t want to be just friends, but it was a start.

“That was easier than I thought it would be,” said Nico, not realizing he had said it out loud.

Will just smiled. “I can’t really stay mad at you for too long, can I? I’m really bad at holding grudges. But just one thing: don’t pretend like you’re hurt again.  Injuries are not something to joke about.”

Nico laughed. “That’s fine. Sorry.”

“No problem,” said Will, sitting down in front of Nico again. “Now, how’s that food chart coming?”

Nico groaned.

****  
  


That night at dinner Will sat next to Nico, and it seemed to Nico like nothing had ever happened between them. He was content just to watch Will talking and laughing, his hair seeming to shine in the firelight.

And still that small word bothered him, crept into his mind.

_Friends._

__

One step at a time.

It was hard to remember.


	5. Chapter 5

Nico had just about had it with dish duty.

And so he was glad when came around, and told him that finally, he got to switch assignments the next day. Nico wanted patrol. Then at least he could go outside of camp without people freaking out when he did.

But Chiron didn't give him patrol. Or clean-up. Or even cleaning the pegasus stables.

No, of all the chores at Camp Half Blood, Chiron had decided that Nico would be helping at the infirmary.

Nico nearly dropped the dish he was holding.

Chiron raised an eyebrow.

"Is that okay?"

"What? Yeah, of course it is."

"Well, good, because I got a request for you to help in there."

"Really?" Nico said at once. Then he cleared his throat and tried again, embarrassed. "Really?"

"Yeah, Apollo cabin head counselor himself."

Nico smiled slightly to hear Will being referred to with such a lofty title. It really didn't fit him at all. Nico was glad to see, though, that Will hadn't shied away from him since they had made up. That and the fact that he wanted to see Nico.

He wants to see me more.

"Don't get too excited," said Chiron. "You still have to finish all these dishes."

"Right."

As Chiron left Nico resumed his work, rubber glove-clad arms elbow deep in suds. It seemed that the two other people who were usually helping him had bailed, so Nico was left to fend for himself against the mountain of dishes. Couldn't they just use magic for this? Or something? Nico supposed he hadn't really thought what happened to the plates until he got this job. Big whoop. He would have preferred not knowing.

Mt. Everest wasn't getting any smaller when Will came up next to Nico and decided to pitch in.

Nico started. Will had just thrown himself into the job, acting as if it hadn't been random at all. LIke he had been there the whole time. He hummed to himself like always, like he had some invisible Ipod that only he could hear. Nico worked alongside him for a minute, not finding it possible that Will couldn't feel his stare boring into his side. He wouldn't turn his head. Who did he think he was? These were Nico's dishes. He couldn't just come in and help him with the job. Nico had it under control. It wasn't like he couldn't handle it.

Nico sighed softly.

There I go again. Spouting nonsense.

So he let Will just help him, and without a word exchanged, the pile of dishes had almost disappeared. Only when it was almost done did Nico turn to Will.

"Why are you here, anyway?"

"I don't even get a thank you?" Will said indignantly. "That's not how most people would respond."

"I'm not like most people."

"I know."

All the sudden their eyes met, and Nico's hands froze on his plate before he resumed hurriedly, scrubbing like a madman.

"So anyway… I get to drop this job tomorrow," said Nico, hastily changing the subject.

"Oh, really?" Will said, suddenly as invested in scouring a plate as Nico had been a second ago.

Nico frowned. "Wait...I thought you knew that."

"What? I don't know anything. What's your new job?"

Nico put his plate down and looked at Will, straight on.

"Really?"

"What?"

Will was such a terrible, terrible liar.

It was the cutest thing Nico had ever seen.

"Chiron told me that you requested me to help at the infirmary."

Will blushed. "He wasn't supposed to tell you that."

"Well, he did."

"Sorry, Nico! It's only because-"

"No, I'm glad," Nico said, cutting him off. He even offered up a small smile.

Will looked so relieved that Nico wanted to hug him. But it probably wasn't a good idea, what because of his dripping hands and because of so many other things.

"That's great," Will said. "I'm mean, cool. No problem."

"Cool."

"Great."

Silence for a moment. There was so many things Nico wanted to say, so many more things, that he just couldn't and probably wouldn't ever say. Instead he just worked on the last plate, cleaning it so many times that it probably was clean a dozen times over. He never thought he'd think it, but he didn't want it to end.

But it did end, and soon Nico was going about some final little clean-ups when he heard a tiny click.

He whirled around, and there was Will, trying to hide a phone. And failing miserably.

"What are you doing?"

Even Will knew when he was caught. "Taking a picture… of you."

Nico's face was burning. "What for?"

"The camp yearbook. You know, memories. I signed up to take photos."

That sounded like such a Will thing to do.

"Why would you take a picture of me?" Nico asked.

"Because… your outfit."

Nico looked down. He was wearing a stupid apron and giant yellow rubber gloves, both of which were way too big for him. He looked like some kind of… you know, he didn't even know. He sighed.

"What about my outfit?"

"It's...cute."

Will quickly doubled back.

"What I mean is that it's...what I mean is that… um…"

Nico just stared at him as Will tried to find the right words. It retrospect, he supposed he should have saved Will from his embarrassment as fast as possible. But his mind was too far gone to realize it.

Nico DiAngelo… cute?

Those words didn't go together too often, but when they came out of Will's mouth it almost seemed like they did, like they fit. Like it was so wrong that it somehow was right.

He reconsidered his silence when he saw how misplaced Will looked, and for his sake he put on his normal surly expression and told him to shut up.

Will seized on it gratefully, laughed it off. The work went quickly after that. They left, and Nico shut off the lights.

The evening sunset had turned into darkness, save for the moon and a few lights sprinkled here and there amongst the camp. Nico didn't mind. Child of Hades, darkness, kind of went together. The night made the camp seem strangely calm and quiet, the exact opposite of how it usually was.

Will filled the void with the usual small talk, Nico only vaguely listening. His mind was on other things, mostly the fact that he was kind of all alone with Will right now and they were kind of having a conversation that was normal. Without any arguing, or tensions, or anything like that. Just like they had always had this routine, and it was how it would always be.

Nico was disappointed when they got to the Hades cabin, but just as he was about to go inside Will spoke up.

"Aren't you going to walk me to my cabin?"

Nico stopped. "But then I'll have to walk back alone. That's like making two trips for no reason."

"Come on, walk with me."

Nico sighed. He wasn't sure why he was pretending to be uninterested. Maybe he didn't want Will to think he was that easy to get?

Woah, was he already thinking that?

"Why?"

"It's dark," Will said.

"Will Solace is afraid of the dark?" Nico laughed. "Well, I guess that kind of makes sense."

"Shut up. Are you coming or not?"

"I'm coming."

Nico ran a little to catch up to Will, who waited. His hair flashed gold every time a light hit it, the shine off a sword. Like he was his own little bit of sunlight.

Secretly, Nico was glad that he had to walk with Will. He would have walked for hours, if it meant he got to walk next to him. He could walk next to him forever, just to know that he was beside him.

And then they got to the Apollo cabin, and it was over.

"Well, see you tomorrow?" Will said.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

"By the way, if you're helping at the infirmary I expect you to be there bright and early. Six o'clock to set-up."

"Six o'clock!? In the morning?"

"Well, I said bright and early."

Nico groaned. "Will, you're gonna kill me."

Will just smiled and shoved Nico's shoulder as he headed into the cabin.

"Six o'clock sharp."

Nico waved and Will waved and then he was gone, and Nico stood there for a while.

He couldn't stop smiling.

Nico had barely woken up when his clock read six ten.

He staggered out of bed, haphazardly throwing on shoes and clothes before barreling out the door. He didn't want to be late. Not on his first day. Not when Will was counting on him.

He assumed it didn't matter much, since there wasn't any serious injuries in camp anymore. But still, he hurried to the Big House and slid into the doorway not five minutes later.

"I'm here," he panted.

"Good god, Nico, take a breath before you pass out on the floor," said Will, laughing. "It's okay if you're a little late on your first day."

"Oh?" Nico said, slightly embarrassed.

"No, I'm glad. To be honest I wasn't expecting you for another half hour at least."

"Come on," Nico said. "So. What is it I need to do?"

"Not much," Will said. "Just setting up. Here."

He handed Nico a broom.

"Sweep the floor."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Better start now, too, there's a lot of things to do."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Yes, sir."

Nico looked up, a half smile on his face. And he was glad to see that Will returned the gesture, just in the slightest, before going back to filing papers.

At some point Will put on some music, which was in Nico's opinion, fairly terrible. He hated country music. Nico didn't want to say anything, but he made a mental note to bring his own music next time, especially after the fifth song about a pickup truck and a summer fling. Really, Nico had hoped that Apollo would have granted his son better taste. But Will seemed to enjoy it, so Nico just went along with it, and eventually he found he could tune it out. It wasn't so bad that way.

And so the morning passed, with sweeping and organizing bottles and dusting. Nico felt like a maid. It was funny to see how seriously Will took his job, though, organizing and sorting and labeling everything as if his life depended on it.

And there they were, like two chemicals in a tiny test tube, waiting for a catalyst to make something happen.

All it will take is a little push.

What would that be?

Nico didn't know, and he was too shy to say anything risky. And he thought Will was too.

Was this how it was going to be for the rest of the summer? Their time at camp? Their lives? With each one not wanting to say anything, not wanting to be brave, but each one wanting each other so bad that Nico didn't know how it didn't burst out of them anyway?

At least that was how Nico felt, and he imagined that Will felt the same way. He hoped.

He hoped a thousand times, a million times, more than he had ever hoped for Percy to notice him. It was a feeling so big he couldn't stop thinking about it, but at the same time he couldn't let it out, so it expanded and expanded inside his chest until he felt he could not take it

it hurts

any longer, and he was going to say something. He was going to do something, anything. He just had to figure out what.

And then Will asked him if he wanted to go down to breakfast and Nico nodded, just like always.

As soon as he left the room he felt the spark go out of him like it was doused by water. It was still there, but it consumed him no longer and he no longer felt the urgency to act on it.

But it was still there. Will lit the candle, he put it out. It was like Nico couldn't win.

As they walked down to breakfast, Nico began to feel tired. What from the lack of sleep or exhaustion of indecision, he didn't know, maybe it was both. He walked by Will, but didn't really listen to his chatter, only inserting a word or two every other pause so that Will wouldn't think anything was wrong.

A lot was wrong.

But every time Will smiled at him, or looked at him, Nico was reminded that it was okay, and that there was hope left. If Nico hadn't loved him he would have been annoyed at how easily Will let him forget his grudges.

He thought back to what Bianca had told him, long ago. Nico devastated, broken up, that she had appeared for Percy, not him, perfect Percy Jackson with his powers and sword and those striking eyes. She had told him then, reminded him, of his fatal flaw. Holding grudges.

But Will seemed to erase any grudges Nico had without so much as a word.

If Nico was annoyed by that, would that also be holding a grudge?

They slid into the Poseidon table, Nico was ready for the heat of Will's touch but it still surprised him.

"Where did you guys come from?" asked Piper.

More like, why did you guys come here together?

"Nico's new camp chore is helping at the infirmary!" Will said brightly, and Piper smiled back. She really was beautiful, Nico thought. But not in a heart-beat kind of way. It was just in the way you thought a celebrity was pretty, almost.

"Nico's gotta hate that," said Annabeth, laughing. "Of all the luck, he got assigned there. Sorry, Will. He's just a ray of sunshine, isn't he? Especially in the mornings."

"Actually, I requested him," Will said. Not too loudly, not too soft. Just like a fact. Nico wondered what made him admit it, since he hadn't even wanted Nico to know. Or had he?

There was a brief silence as the table occupants, Piper and Jason and Annabeth and Percy, contemplated what was said. Jason kept trying to catch Nico's eye, and Nico avoided him the best he could.

"Oh," said Annabeth. "I didn't know."

What else don't you know?

Or are you guessing now?

"Yeah," said Nico flatly. "What about it?"

"Nothing," said Annabeth quickly, offering a smile, hoping to diffuse the implications.

But Nico still saw everyone glance around at each other, excited, looks that said, I can't wait to talk about this later. But not when they're around.

It annoyed Nico. He was pretty sure they wouldn't act like this for anyone else. It was just because it was Nico

their little Nico

and because he liked boys and because he'd never had anything like this before. Like he was a novelty, like a toy.

He reassessed. They meant well, he knew that. But that didn't mean it wasn't uncomfortable.

But the feeling soon faded as the group turned to other topics, some old and some new. As in Percy's thing with blue food. Nico had heard it a hundred times. He could feel his attention fading, and with it went his strength to stay awake. Not that he didn't try. Maybe he should've gone to bed earlier. Maybe he shouldn't worry so much. It was fine, he could do it tonight. He fought to keep his eyes open, but he could tell it was a losing battle. He would go to bed early tonight…

He awoke to a small burst of light on his eyelids. He hadn't even realized he had been out. It seemed like seconds ago. He almost didn't want to open his eyes. He was so comfortable…

"Dammit, the flash is still on. Whatever, I still got it."

Then he realized where he was, and his eyes snapped wide open. Real fast.

Then he realized his head was on Will's shoulder. He sat up straight quickly.

Then he realized that Jason had out his phone, and that the flash had been its camera.

"Goddamit, Jason!" said Nico, embarrassed out of his mind.

Why does everyone want to take pictures of me?!

Just as everyone was starting to suspect, Nico had to go and downright seal their suspicions with a freaking gold stamp.

"Don't you want to see it?" asked Jason. He turned the phone towards Nico.

There was Nico, fast asleep. But not only that. He had fallen asleep with his head on Will's shoulder, he was freaking leaning against Will, for Christ's sake. And then there was Will, a small smile on his face looking down at him.

"Delete it," said Nico immediately.

"But it's such a cute photo!" Jason said. "You guys are such good…friends..." He trailed off.

That was enough for Nico. "Is anyone else done eating? I'm done. Will?"

Will wasn't even listening. Instead, he had taken out his own phone.

"This one's even better. It's Nico doing dishes."

Nico couldn't believe his ears.

"Aw, Nico you look so good in an apron!"

"That's it, I'm out of here. See if I ever sit with you guys again," said Nico, getting up from the table.

"See you tomorrow!" someone yelled as he walked away.

But they were laughing, and Nico found himself smiling.

A few days later, Nico was more in the habit of getting up early. Today it hadn't been hard at all, and he had even been early.

He had brought his own music with him this time. He pulled Will's phone from the dock and put in his own Ipod.

Will looked up. "Why'd you change the music?"

"Because, to be honest, you're music kind of sucks."

Will looked highly affronted. "Everyone likes country music."

Nico laughed. "No, I don't think so."

"Everyone likes country music. Everyone likes Taylor Swift, don't they?"

"She's not even country."

"She was in her first album! And also kind of in Fearless!"

"You like Taylor Swift?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"

Nico laughed. "Anyway, it's my turn to pick the music."

"Aww."

It had been a minute into Nico's music and Will was suspiciously quiet. Then Nico heard him sigh. A minute passed. He sighed again. Then again.

"Okay, spit it out."

"I don't like your music," Will said flatly.

"Well, now we feel the same way."

"It doesn't even make sense. It's really screamy. And really depressing."

"It's supposed to be like that. Don't you feel like that sometimes?"

"Not really. Do you?"

"Are you kidding?" said Nico. "This music used to be like, who I was."

"Really?" said Will. "Because when I listen to it, I don't really think of you."

Nico stopped labeling bottles and looked at Will. He wanted to see his face, to see if was lying or not.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

There was a beat.

"What do you think of?"

"I don't know…" said Will. "But not this. Something… lighter. Something that makes you feel happy."

"Thanks," was all Nico could say.

A while passed.

"Wait!" Will said suddenly. "I got it. The Spice Girls."

Nico stared. "That's the worst thing anyone has ever said to me."

"Chill!" Will laughed. "Don't kill me. I'm just kidding."

"Lucky for you," said Nico, but he smiled too.

And all the sudden that spark was lit inside him again, and the burning sensation began to snake its way through his body. He could barely concentrate on the labeling, instead he was aware, so aware, of Will behind him, moving, working, breathing.

And so he wasn't paying attention, and when he went to put the finished bottles on the top shelf, he tripped.

And Will caught him, or tried to, it was all too fast for Nico to remember what happened.

But then he was on top of Will on the ground, and for a minute they just stared at each other, breathing slightly harder, and Nico looked into Will's eyes, blue and big with surprise, and maybe a little scared.

And he didn't know what made him do it, he didn't know what god gave his the blessing, or possessed him.

But the fire inside of him was burning.

Will's face was close. Just an inch, two, three, of space.

And so Nico closed that space.

He hadn't expected it to be so warm, like the sun radiating out. He hadn't expected it to be so… he hadn't expected it to be…

And before he could figure it out, Will wrapped a hand around his neck and pulled him down, and by then Nico was pretty sure he couldn't figure out anything except for one thing, one thing that was perfectly clear, and that was that he was one percent, totally, completely, in love with Will Solace.


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as they pulled apart there was a gap in the air, a sudden break in time.

A moment of silence for my first kiss.

And it was there that they stared at each other, Nico took in a gasp of air and so did Will. Nico could almost see his reflection in Will's eyes, they were that big and bright. Nico was pretty sure that if he could would see his own dark eyes reflecting back at him, and that they would look surprised, mystified, and a little scared.

Because that was how he felt now.

As soon as he had pulled away, pulled away from the heat and the pressure and the brief moment of

I'm floating

that was what he felt: and that was scared.

Terrified, even.

What had he just done?

You just kissed Will Solace.

And then a little louder.

You just kissed another boy.

A little louder.

You're officially gay now.

And then the loudest of all, practically screaming in his ears:

He kissed me back.

So what did that mean for Will's feelings? Nico felt sick to his stomach. He had forced himself on Will. Without even asking. Or anything. Just… did it.

He kissed me back.

That didn't mean anything, didn't mean anything that Will had grabbed Nico by the neck and pulled him down, down into him and into Nico's addiction.

It wasn't supposed to be like this, a brief fit of hormones and… then what? Nico rolled onto the ground beside Will and laid there for a moment, eyes to the ceiling.

It wasn't supposed to be like this, and yet it felt so right that it took all of Nico's willpower not to jump up and cheer and throw confetti into the air. But he didn't, and instead he remained in the pit of silence between the two of them, as they tried to process their thoughts.

And when he had been kissing him… the things he had thought. Great things, terrible things, big things all around. It blinded him, deafened him, it made him forget everything except for

I am in love Will Solace.

And now that his head was spinning less, doubts and worries and fear, especially fear, filled his mind.

He was doing it. This was really it.

He couldn't bring himself to look Will in the eye and say something, even as they both stood up and resumed their chores as if nothing had happened, oh no, there was never anything that scandalous that happened on the floor of the infirmary room somewhere in the Big House.

It was like nothing had happened, and it was like everything had happened. Nico knew it was the latter.

He wanted so bad to say something, but he couldn't.

He couldn't find anything to say because what he wanted to say couldn't be put into words.

And they pretended like it was a normal day, and they didn't look at each other once. And then when it was over they said goodbye to each other and Nico practically leapt out the door.

That night was the latest on the Nico DiAngelo very long list about very long nights thinking about Will Solace.

He was both glad and disappointed that tomorrow was Sunday, and he didn't have to work in the infirmary. He thought about waiting it out in his cabin, but he could just picture himself listening to that music that Will didn't get and wallowing in his own misery. Better to go outside and try to get his mind off of it.

But it was hard, really hard, to forget how good the kiss had felt.

Nico pushed himself out the door with the promise that he would try to get his mind off of it. Maybe archery would help. He sucked at it, so maybe he would get frustrated enough that he would forget about the other thing.

He went down to the archery range and picked out a bow that looked as good as the rest, he wasn't sure how those things worked. He walked over, chose a target, set the arrow, pulled it back, and let it fly.

Let it sink, more like, the arrow barely went five feet before it crashed into the ground.

He tramped over to retrieve it, embarrassed. The few other people at camp who actually liked archery, (namely the Apollo cabin) stared at him, probably wondering what the hell he was doing at the range. Nico cursed under his breath. Who even liked this dumbass thing. Hell, Percy couldn't even sink a shot. Frank could, but it didn't matter, because he was back at Camp Jupiter living it up with Hazel.

Actually, you know who could do this? Will could.

He would probably laugh and try explain in his doctor voice how to shoot the arrow, but he probably wouldn't explain it in any way Nico could comprehend and the arrow would crumple to the ground and Will would laugh again in his sweet way, and say better luck next time. And then he would shoot the arrow himself, his strong arms letting go of the arrow and it would sail right at the bullseye, maybe a little off but still a million times better than Nico could ever hope to do.

Nico would think of the Cupid analogy, shooting the arrow at the heart, making someone fall in love. But on second thought, he hated that asshole.

He had come to the archery range to forget about Will, and instead he was thinking about him even more. Funny how that had worked out.

Then a gust of air sent him reeling back and an arrow whizzed past his ear, before sinking into the bullseye. A whoop sounded behind Nico.

"You're gonna fucking kill me, Annabeth," Nico mumbled, annoyed at being showed up, even if it was by someone like Annabeth.

"I have better control than that," she said, smiling. "What's up? Your cussing gets worse if you're in a bad mood."

Nico fought the urge to prove her right.

"I'm not in a bad mood," Nico said loftily, trying to notch and arrow and succeeding in letting it fall out of his fingers into the dirt. Annabeth stared at him as he crouched to pick it up, too angry to be embarrassed.

"Nico…" Annabeth crossed her arms and stared, stared hard, like she thought she could somehow physically see what was wrong. Nico looked away. It made him nervous when people stared at him like that, even scrutinizing.

"Hey, can you leave me alone?" he asked, somewhat irritably. "I'm trying to practice."

"Since when have you been into archery?"

"Since… now."

"Nico, are you really okay? You can tell me, you know. I'm good at keeping secrets."

She stepped closer to him, no doubt hoping that he would suddenly start crying and confessing some grand story about all his problems, and she would secretly gloat the whole time. No, NIco reminded himself, Annabeth wasn't't like that. Annabeth genuinely cared. A lot. And Nico was just too dumb or shallow to see that, apparently.

Well, I guess I'm too dumb and shallow too tell her, then.

"I'm fine," he said, his fingers desperately trying to notch another arrow.

"Here, let me help," said Annabeth, moving in.

"No!" Nico said, pulling away from her.

She stared at him for a second. "Nico, what's wrong?" She looked hurt.

It's just an impulse! Nico wanted to scream.

Instead, he didn't say anything.

"Nico, did something happen with you and Will?"

Why are you so damn smart?

"Uh, no, nothing happened."

So much happened.

My life happened.

My life began and ended all at once.

Nico knew that Annabeth didn't believe him; he saw her huff and began to say something, once, twice, then she finally got it out.

"Nico, you can tell us, you know. We're your friends."

"No, nothing happened," Nico repeated. He didn't look her in the eyes. He was afraid that if he did she could read his mind.

"I just want to help you, Nico. It's not like I'm going to tell Percy or Jason."

"Nothing happened!"

Nico sent the arrow flying, and this time it hit the bullseye and stuck there, tail dangling an inch in. Annabeth stared.

"Ill leave you to it then," she said, and flounced off.

Nico wasn't able to hit the target again after that.

The next morning he woke up covered in sweat, and he screamed.

There was a monster in the corner of his room, the largest basilisk he had ever seen, poison leaking out of its mouth. He could smell it, and the shadows shifted as it moved forward, and then

It was gone.

There was nothing there, only the darkness and himself, trying to control his shaking but not being able to. He choked his breaths in and out, suddenly aware of the lack of oxygen in the room which seemed to beat around him

like Tartarus

and he saw his sister out of the corner of his vision and he closed his eyes, praying for it all to be over.

When he finally opened them sunlight slowly leaked into the room. He was safe in the room, it was his room, in Camp Half Blood; he wasn't in the casino or the labyrinth or the jar or

Tartarus.

His chest felt like it was going to burst from his heart hammering against it. He climbed out of bed and got a drink of water; his throat was painfully dry. He looked at himself in the mirror. He saw a scared little boy, eyes like dark pits and skin like paper. He tried to take a drink, and ended up spilling it all over the front of his shirt, his hands were shaking so bad. He tried again. This time he managed to get it down, and it burned.

He turned on all the lights and slid down the wall to sit on the floor.

When was the moment when my life started to go wrong?

He played this game a lot. So many bad things had happened in his life, it was hard to pinpoint just where it had started.

Was it when Bianca and I were left in the Lotus?

Was it when I met Percy and fell in love with him?

Was it when Bianca died?

Was it when Cupid outed me?

Was it when I met Will?

That's absurd. That's one hundred percent, completely, totally, stupid.

Nico breathed out and in.

It always took no time at all for him to doubt himself. The kiss had been good. It had been a good thing. It had been a great thing. So why was he trying to pretend it hadn't been? Maybe he was just afraid that it would mess up his friendship with Will.

He had to go back today anyway. To the infirmary. He could apologize for kissing Will. And it would go back to being like it always was.

But I don't want that, do I?

Suddenly the idea of living as he had been, the same, became unbearable. He didn't think he could.

When the after effects of his little flashback trip to Tartarus had finally subsided, he realized it was time to go to see Will.

Against his will, Nico relaxed once he went outside and saw the other campers. A normal day. He made himself a promise that no matter what happened, he wouldn't run and retreat into his room. Or shadow travel somewhere far away. No, he would face the masses and Will, and he would be a good sport about it. Be a man, Nico.

But still, he was terrified out of his mind as he went into the Big House.

Nico went into the infirmary to find Will doing nothing at all, but as soon as Nico arrived he hurriedly put papers away as if he had been working.

"Hey," he said, smiling a little, nervously.

"Hey," said Nico.

Was that really it?

And then Will launched into a full-blown apology.

"Nico, I'm so sorry about what happened the other day. It was wrong of me and I was just… caught up in the moment, I guess. I know I probably freaked you out and all, and I'm sorry. But I still want us to be friends-"

"It's okay," said Nico, cutting him off. "I was the one who… started it. Yeah."

"No, I apologize too. I shouldn't have."

"It's fine."

There was a silence.

Can this get any more awkward?

"So, anyway-"

"It's just because I really like you," blurted out Will.

Nico stared at him, but Will had already resumed filing papers, or pretending to anyway, blushing like crazy. Nico could feel the heat creeping up into his cheeks as well, and all memories of his terrible morning left him fast like dark clouds in light wind.

There it was, said out loud.

I really like you.

Nico let that ring around his head for a minute, those words. Then he realized he didn't have to, because the words were already there.

"I really like you too," he whispered.

"What was that?" said Will, looking up.

Fuck. Nico hadn't said it loud enough. He cleared his throat.

"That is… I really like you too. I really, really, like you. Honest to god."

Will looked so surprised that Nico almost kicked himself. Hadn't he been obvious enough? As soon as the words left his mouth he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. If the kiss hadn't been clear enough, here it was, and it made Nico feel vulnerable and powerful all at once. Every moment Will didn't respond was killing him.

The kiss had made him realize it, no, he didn't really like Will, he was completely in love with him.

Wasn't that still true?

Had he somehow forgotten that in the midst of all his insecurities?

He made up his mind that he wouldn't forget that again, unless he had a good reason to.

"Then it's mutual?" said Will.

Nico nodded. Will smiled again. Gods, Nico could swear that his smile was something holy. Something that bright couldn't be possible without consent from a god.

"So here, you're washing the windows today."

He handed Nico a spray bottle and a rag.

"What?"

"You heard me, you're washing the windows."

For a moment, Nico was confused.

Then he didn't know what made him do it, but he started laughing, and he couldn't stop.

When he was done, Will spoke.

"Why haven't I heard you laugh before?"

Nico thought. "I guess I never had a reason to. I don't even know why I'm laughing now."

"I think it's the cutest thing I've ever heard."

Nico saw stars.

"Thanks."

He had to say something back.

"You're-"

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything back."

"Oh."

"Finish your job."

"I'm on it."

The day would have seemed normal on surface level, if somehow Nico could control his own thoughts. The people that came in to get treated didn't seem to notice anything different. Just the same as always.

Nico didn't want it to be that way.

So when they left the infirmary, he grabbed Will's arm and stopped him by the door.

"What's up?" Will asked.

"This," Nico said, and he kissed Will for all he was worth.

When they finally came up for air it wasn't just Will that smiled.

"You know what, Nico?"

"What?"

"I like you."

"I like you too."

"Didn't we already say that?"

"It needed to be said again."


	7. Chapter 7

For the first time in a long while, Nico woke up happy.

And then it happened the next day, and the next.

Before he knew it he was actually looking forward to waking up. Because it would mean he got to see Will.

The last time he had felt like this… hell, he couldn't even remember.

It was a Wednesday when Nico came down to the infirmary, and was surprised when he found Will not in uniform. Nico was embarrassed to find that he was disappointed. Will was cute in scrubs. But instead he was in his usual clothes, somewhat beachy attire and flipflops. Nico changed his mind. Will could look cute in anything.

"What's going on?" asked Nico as he jumped up to sit on the counter.

"Don't sit there, it's unsanitary," Will said automatically.

Nico hopped off. "Sorry."

"No, no problem," said Will, smiling. "How's it going?"

"Pretty good, but you never answered my first question."

"What first question?"

"When I came in I asked what was going on."

"Oh. You asked that?"

"I literally asked that seconds ago. And then restated it now."

"Oh."

And Nico couldn't help but smile, and he felt his heart pump as Will did the same.

"Well, today is new job day. It's one of my brothers' turn to work in the infirmary."

"Oh yeah."

Nico had totally forgotten about that. He was supposed to have gone to the mess hall and found out his new assignment. Oh well. He could do that later. Against his will, his nerves tingled. That would mean that Will and him wouldn't work together any more. And working in the infirmary comprised of most of his time to see Will.

Nico swallowed. Best to play it off cool. He didn't want to seem too clingy

we're not even dating!

...I think.

but as usual, his mind tended to jump to the worst conclusions. It never failed.

"What's your new job?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

"Patrol."

"Lucky! I always want patrol, but they never give it to me."

"That's probably because you like to vanish from camp at random times."

"Right."

"But listen, I have an idea."

Will's eyes lit up, and he stepped forward to grab Nico's hands in both of his, pulling slightly as Nico almost fell backwards in surprise. Nico looked up at him, and Will laughed.

"Your eyes are so wide. You look like a puppy."

That was funny, because Nico had always compared Will to one. Nico would have liked to think he was a more intimidating animal. Like… a wolf. Or a cat. Something. He tried to steel his eyes. Maybe he would look less puppy-like then. But it was hard when he could feel Will's fingers pressing in his hands, and besides that Nico was wondering how they fit together so perfectly.

"I have an idea," Will said breathlessly.

"Okay…" said Nico, raising an eyebrow. "The way you said that just now makes me think it's probably not a good idea. Or at least not a safe, don't-get-in-trouble idea."

"Don't burst my bubble!" Will said indignantly.

"I apologize."

"Anyway," Will continued, "Since I'm in patrol now, I've been thinking."

He paused.

"Well, not really, I just thought of it a couple of minutes ago. But you get my drift. So, here it is. Let's go to Manhattan."

"Manhattan?"

"New York City."

"Yeah, I'm aware."

"Don't be rude. It'll be fun, just you and me! It can be our first date."

Our first date?!

Oh wow, he really just said that.

Relax, Nico. Be cool.

He worried his hands were shaking or sweaty, and that Will could surely feel him in his grip. But Will's hands remained the same, steady and constant on Nico's. Nico was glad that Will was holding him, otherwise he wouldn't have known what to do with himself.

"But...how are we supposed to get there?"

"Well, I was hoping you could Shadow Travel us there."

Nico blinked. "Shadow Travel… I thought you didn't want me to do that."

Will looked abashed. "Well, I thought you were the one always saying you were fine."

Nico squeezed Will's hands. "No, it's fine! I can totally do that. It's not that far from Long Island Sound, in those kind of terms."

"Really?"

"Really. That sounds awesome."

Will looked into his eyes for a moment, and Nico looked back. It seemed like Will's eyes were trying to tell him something, but the harder Nico looked, the more confused he got. And then Will came out and said it.

"Aren't you gonna kiss me?"

Nico stared even more.

"I guess I'll just have to do it myself then."

And, still holding Nico's hands, Will leaned forward and kissed him.

It was fast, light and barely there, but it was real.

Nico smiled despite himself. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me. Now, find a shadow. Let's go before the rest of camp wakes up."

"What are we going to tell people? They'll know we're gone."

"I'm supposed to be on patrol outside of camp. And like I said, you just randomly disappear sometimes. So no biggie."

"Hold on to me," said Nico, and Will grabbed him tight. Nico concentrated, and they melted into the last of the shadows as the sun came up.

They materialized under a tree in a field. Or at least Nico thought so. His vision was slightly blurred, and he staggered. Will caught him in his arms and slowly lowered him onto the grass. Nico could feel his Will's hands brushing hair back from his sweaty forehead as Nico popped out bursts of air, trying to get his breathing under control.

"Nico! Are you okay?"

Nico's vision slowly shifted back to normal and he looked up to tree branches. He could hear birds singing. His head was in Will's lap. He quickly sat up. Bad idea. His head reeled.

"Take it easy." Will held his waist from behind as Nico steadied.

As soon as Nico felt he had sufficiently pulled himself together he rolled out onto the grass, embarrassed.

"Sorry. I guess you were right. I haven't done this in a while, and transporting two people…I guess I haven't fully recovered, huh?"

The air was nice out here. He breathed in.

"No, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have made you do this, I-"

"It's fine, Will," Nico said. "I'm good now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Will looked out over the green and at the skyscrapers visible above.

"Are we in Central Park?"

"Yeah. At least I aimed right."

"Gods, I haven't been here since the Titan War."

"That's right, huh."

It seemed so different now, being here with Will. Nico supposed Will had been there last time too, but still…

It seemed so stupid, no thinking back. Giving Percy the idea to bathe in the River Styx wouldn't make him fall in love with Nico. It only made him invincible. Nearly.

"Are you thinking about it?" Will asked quietly. He meant the war.

"Yeah," Nico said hurriedly. "Let's not dwell on it. There's been another war since then. Hopefully the last one."

"It'll be the last one," said Will, standing up and pulling Nico along with him. "I know it will."

"I hope you're right," said Nico.

"I know I'm right."

Neither one wanted to dwell on it, so they didn't.

Instead they walked out until they found a path. Will stopped after walking a few paces.

"What?" Nico asked.

"Do you know where we are?"

"Central Park."

"More specifically."

"Um...no."

And then they both looked at each other and laughed, and Nico felt like his heart could burst and he would be okay with it.

"Do you wanna just wander around until we find a map?"

"That sounds like a plan."

The morning was surprisingly cool for summer time. Nico knew it would get hot soon enough. That was the problem with liking to wear black and metal. It wasn't good for summer.

Nico realized that they must look like an odd pair. Nico, small and scrawny with black hair in his eyes and black clothes and skulls, good gods, skulls everywhere. He needed to stop wearing skulls. That was stupid. He wondered what Will thought, Will who was tall and blond and tan and beautiful.

Nico couldn't help it, he grew more self conscious as they walked. People were staring

you're just imagining it

at them, he was sure.

It's just your imagination!

"Are you okay?" Will looked at him with his you-look-sick-and-I'm-a-doctor face. Nico liked that look, he thought it was amazing just how much Will cared. For everyone, not just him. "Do you need to sit down? You look like you're still dizzy."

"No, I'm fine," said Nico. He forced himself to push his thoughts away. He was smarter than this.

"Are you sure?" Will tried to look in his eyes and Nico looked away. For someone who was terrible at lying themselves, Will was too good at noticing when Nico was.

"Yeah, I'm great," Nico looked back at him and smiled.

It was great.

Will was great.

The problem was that Nico didn't feel like he was.

But he was for the most part happy, and he didn't want to ruin this

first date!

for himself and the smiling boy beside him.

"Hey, do you want to go to the Metropolitan?" Will asked a few seconds later.

"I'm not much for art."

"Oh, okay."

Will looked away off towards the trees.

"You really want to go, don't you?"

Will whipped his head back around.

"No! That is… yes, but if you don't want to go then I don't-"

"No, let's go," said Nico.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Do you actually want to or are you just placating me?" Will stopped and crossed his arms.

"I want to."

Will raised an eyebrow.

"No!" Nico almost laughed. "I really, really want to."

Whatever you want to do, I want to do.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Stop staring at me!"

Will laughed and nudged Nico's shoulder. "I'm just teasing you. You're really easy to tease, you know that?"

Nico grumbled about it and they kept walking in the museum's direction. Then a thought struck him and he grabbed Will's arm to stop him.

"Wait, do you have money?"

"Yeah, I have money. Why?"

"The museum…"

"It 'recommends' you pay twenty five dollars. You don't have to but most people do anyway."

"I'm guessing we're not going to pay that much."

"No, Nico, we are not."

"They have enough money already."

"Very true."

Nico wasn't sure how it happened, but as they walked, his insecurities from before seemed to fade. Maybe they were still there, actually, he was sure they were still there, but there was something about the day that made them retreat a little.

And that was confusing, because if Will made Nico's insecurities come out, how could he make them go away? But somehow he had, and Nico was grateful. Very grateful. More grateful than he thought Will could ever know.

Or maybe he already did.

When they got to the art they ended up having to wait an hour for it to open, so they bought breakfast and sat on the steps and fed pigeons and talked.

When they finally got in the museum with five dollars each and were given a map, Nico was overwhelmed.

"This place is like the fucking labyrinth."

"Don't cuss in the presence of art."

"What is that supposed to mean? How are we going to get through all this?"

"We have the whole day. And we don't have to go through everything."

Nico shrugged. "Let's go to the Greek stuff then."

"That sounds like a plan."

Turns out, it wasn't as easy to get there as Nico had anticipated. The place was huge, and Will was the one with the map and, lo and behold, no sense of direction whatsoever. He didn't seem to mind, though, Nico wondered if he was doing it on purpose just to look at the art. Nico tried, he really did. But eventually he took the map from Will and took the reins himself. Only then did they actually start moving.

After what seemed to Nico like hours they emerged in a room with statues, and columns. Light flowed in through the wall of windows. This place was like the labyrinth, Nico thought. Each gallery looked different.

"Isn't this Roman, though?" asked Will.

"I don't even care, I'm done searching. Just look at the art."

"I'm just teasing you."

"Go."

A few seconds later Nico was looking for a place to sit when Will called him. Nico reluctantly plodded over. His legs. His poor legs.

"Look, it's Percy!"

Nico looked up at the statue Will was pointing at; a man with a helmet, brandishing Medusa's severed head.

"That's Perseus," Nico said.

"Same thing."

"Not really."

"You know what I mean."

"Well, he should really put some pants on."

"Please, I can see you checking him out."

"Shut the fuck up."

Will started to laugh.

"It's a statue! Come on, Will."

Will kept laughing.

"Will, security's gonna get us. You're making too much noise."

But Nico couldn't help but smile too.

Once Will had regained his composure, they moved on, leaving the naked statue of Perseus behind them.

"It wasn't even that funny," Nico mumbled.

"It wasn't that, it was the look on your face that was hilarious."

Nico blushed and crossed his arms.

"You're adorable, you know that?" Will said. The sunlight from the windows behind him played on his hair, refracting shades of gold.

"Do you really think so?" Nico asked. He couldn't help it, but the feeling of needing validation came so strong he wasn't able to stop it.

"Of course. You're the cutest person I've ever met. And that's saying something. Because Hazel is pretty cute with her 'oh no, I'm from the twentieth-century I'm so amazed' thing going on."

"Are you hitting on my sister? You better not be."

"Relax. Of course not. You also have some of that going on, though. But the point is, you're adorable."

"Thanks," Nico said. It flustered him how breathy his voice sounded.

He wanted to say something back, but there wasn't a word big or strong or beautiful enough to say what he was feeling.

"No problem. It's just that, I don't think you quite know that yet, so I'll just have to keep reminding you."

"I'd like that," said Nico. "I'd like that a lot."

And for whatever reason, he felt like crying.

Will squeezed his hand briefly and smiled, and Nico smiled back. He thought that Will knew in that moment how he felt. He was so glad he did.

"You're going to run into that statue behind you," Nico said abruptly.

Way to ruin the moment.

"I am? Oh."

Will stepped back and looked at the statue for a minute.

"Hey, that kind of looks like me!"

It was a statue of a golden archer with his foot up against a rock, shooting into the sky. Nico read the label. Hercules the Archer.

"Hercules does not look like you."

"What? Yeah he does. He's the epitome of manhood, much like myself."

"You're so modest."

"I know I am."

And the day continued, with the little episode both forgotten but still very much remembered. At least Nico remembered it. Something had also seemed to click with the map and Nico was embarrassed to find that he had been holding it the wrong way. He quickly swiveled it around and pretended that he had it under control. He thought Will noticed, a small smile crossed his face. Nico hoped he didn't, but whatever, at least they were going the right way now.

A few hours passed and they found themselves on the rooftop. Even Nico had to admit it was a nice view; from above the green hedge railings they could see what seemed like the whole city, all stretched out before them. The sun was high and bright.

"It's beautiful," said Will, coming up behind him.

"It is."

"What are you thinking of, right now?" Will asked. Nico noticed that Will seemed to like to ask that question. Nico watched him, looking out at the city, not looking at him. He looked vaguely majestic. It reminded Nico of the statues inside, looking out at something only they could see.

"I'm thinking of statues. You?"

"I'm thinking that I want to kiss you right now."

Nico started. "Here? But there's people here."

He looked around hurriedly, were people listening to their conversation? But no, they were just mulling around, looking out at the city and talking, sitting down. Maybe having their own moments. But still, people. A lot of people at that.

"Nico, there's no one from camp here too see us."

"Yeah, but look at all the people here! Nico, we're two guys, we can't just make out with in public."

Will laughed, looking at Nico now.

"You are like your sister. This isn't the forties, Nico. This is New York City. In the twenty first century. Trust me when I say that it's okay."

"Are you sure?"

"It's okay."

"I dont know-"

But before Nico could finish Will tilted his chin up and kissed him, once. Not short and not long, but something sustained, even and steady.

When it was over, Nico looked up at him, almost for some kind of verification. He could tell that his eyes must have looked scared, because he was.

"See, it's fine. No one cares."

Nico looked around. Everyone and everything was just as they had been, minding their own business. He didn't think one person had looked up.

"Thanks," he said.

"For the kiss? Trust me, I could do a lot better."

"No, not for that. Just thanks… for everything."


	8. Chapter 8

When Nico woke up, there was music playing.

It was way too early for that.

Like way too early.

At first he thought that he had left his own music on the night before.

But no, on second thought, he didn't listen to acoustic crap. And it was coming from the outside.

… Oh gods.

He wrenched open the door and there was Will, leaning against the cabin, playing his guitar and singing.

"Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right.

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter.

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun-"

"What are you doing?" Nico practically yelled, before realizing the time. "It's still dark outside! You're going to wake everyone up."

Will stared at him.

"Sorry," Nico said, embarrassed. "I didn't mean to interrupt you, but… what exactly are you doing here?"

Will smiled. "Serenading you. Well, more like trying to wake you up. It worked, didn't it?"

"Oh, it did."

"Do you mind letting me finish this song? It's a really good one."

Nico sighed.

"Go ahead. Just not too loud."

"Great. I'm in a Beatles kind of mood today."

"For the love of god…"

"Can I just play?"

"Yes! Just continue!"

Nico crossed his arms, waiting.

"Oh wait, before I start, one thing."

"What?"

"Get it? I'm playing Here Comes the Sun because the sun is coming up…"

"Yeah, I got it."

"Just checking, 'cause you always seem kind of out of it in the mornings and-"

"Just play!"

"On it."

So he did, and Nico watched.

This time, he didn't mind if Will wanted to play forever.

It wasn't that Will was particularly good at singing or playing the guitar, he wasn't. His voice always seemed slightly off-key on the end notes. But it was pure and strong and wonderful, and as Nico stood there listening, he thought that it might be his favorite sound in the whole world.

"Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting; little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear..."

Nico had heard the song before, but never quite like how Will played it. But he liked how Will played it, he liked it more, and the rhythm of the strumming and his voice filled his head

I want to be here forever

and he watched, hearing the song but not really listening, because maybe he was listening to something that only he could hear.

And then the song was over, and he didn't want it to end.

"Play another one," Nico said abruptly.

"Later," said Will. "We have plans."

"We have plans?"

"Yes, Nico, that is what I said."

"Oh, really."

"Yes, really. To thank you for taking us to New York the other day, I have planned a day for us. To hang out. To go on a date. Well, not really. Here at camp."

"Will, New York was your idea. I just transported us there."

"Oh...right."

"But no, it's fine!" Nico blustered. "That's great. Uh… what are we doing?"

"Well, remember when I told you I like to see the sun rise?"

"Yeah."

"Well, let's go do that, you and me."

"Okay."

"Is that good?"

"Yeah, that's great."

"Let's go then."

"Where are we going?"

Will paused, picking up his guitar. "I don't know. Just follow me and we'll find some place."

And so Nico did.

The sky was growing blue around the edges, creeping higher as they walked. Will's guitar bounced slightly on his back as he watched. After a while he took Nico's hand, swinging it back and forth absentmindedly.

Nico checked to make sure they were well out of range of the cabins.

"Are we gonna get in trouble?"

"I don't know."

"Are we?!"

"Only if we get caught." Will frowned slightly. "Nico, why are you so worried? I thought you were the 'dangerous' one."

"Yeah…" Nico trailed off. "Sorry. I don't really know why I'm nervous."

"It's fine," Will said. He squeezed Nico's hand, and Nico squeezed back.

This was good. He felt good. So why was he worried?

They reached the strawberry fields and walked out between the rows, the leaves brushing Nico's bare legs. He was wearing shorts. He never wore shorts in public. Even when it was really hot outside. His legs were too pale and skinny for that. Plus, he liked the way pants looked. It was his style. But Will had caught him in his pajamas. Thank god he picked a day when Nico hadn't gone to sleep in just his boxers.

Eventually they came to a small clearing where the campers would come to regroup while working in the fields. Will sat down, swinging his guitar around to playing position. Nico sat next to him on the ground.

"Did I tell you that one summer Mr. D banned me from picking strawberries?"

"Why?"

"I was really young, I think it was like my second summer at camp. I kept eating the strawberries."

Nico laughed, imagining Will as a little kid. Probably with even more energy,

if that's even possible

running around. Learning how to play guitar. Watching his siblings work at the infirmary. For whatever reason, the thought made Nico sad.

"You know…." Will started. "I wish you had come to camp earlier. I needed someone like you."

Nico shook his head. "You're super social. You make a new friend practically every day, even if they don't want to be friends with you. There's a million people out there that could give you the same or more that I give you."

And as he said it, Nico's own words scared him.

A million people out there that could give you the same or more that I give you.

There was a lot of people for Will.

But there was only one person Nico, and that was Will.

He needed him so badly that it almost hurt.

And then Will grabbed Nico by the shoulders, turned him around and looked at him straight on. Nico could tell the sun was coming up behind them, and he motioned pathetically with his hand, but Will didn't let go.

"Nico, do you really think that?"

"Nah…" Nico laughed nervously.

"Tell me the truth."

Nico looked into his eyes. They looked determined, steeled almost, the blue like lightning. It was a look that Nico hadn't seen in a while. Maybe even since the war.

Nico swallowed.

"It's just that… you're so different than me."

He couldn't look Will in the eye.

"Nico…"

Will brushed a strand of hair off Nico's forehead, slowly. Nico felt how soft his hands were. Will was so gentle. Maybe it was the doctor in him, or maybe that was just how he was. Nico thought it was the latter.

"I don't ever want you to think that again. You hear me?"

He slid his hands down Nico's arms until he grabbed his hands, and he squeezed as if with some kind of urgency.

"I don't know if I can promise that," said Nico slowly. "But I'll try."

Will's eyes changed again, more anxious, almost pleading. His eyes changed a lot, Nico thought, almost shifting constantly. Will had a wide range of emotions, and he never hid them. Instead he took them and rode with them, letting them guide him and change him and letting him be there, present, in the moment.

There was something beautiful about that.

"Then promise me this," Will said. "Any time you feel insecure, anytime you feel there's something wrong, no matter what it is, tell me."

Nico smiled. "That I can do."

"Good."

Will turned back towards the horizon. The sunrise was in full bloom, streaked with purple and orange and pink. Nico watched as the sun inched upwards, growing brighter.

Here comes the sun

It was beautiful, but not as beautiful as the boy sitting next to him.

Nico leaned his head on Will's shoulder, and Will put his arm around his shoulders, and they sat there together, alone, and watched the dawn.

"Hey, you know what?"

"What?" asked Nico.

"I don't think we're as different as you think."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I just think… just something about the way we think is the same. The way we are. It's hard to put into words."

"No, I think I get what you're saying."

"You do?"

"It's not really something that we have to perfectly understand."

"It just is."

"It just is."

A while later Will started picking out notes on his guitar again, and Nico listened, the strings sounding clearer and louder away from the rest of the camp.

Then Will paused, and strummed a chord.

"Wait, I just thought of the perfect song."

"Go for it."

"Strawberry Fields Forever. Isn't that perfect?"

"Is that the Rolling Stones?"

"Good gods, Nico, I swear. If I didn't like you so much I would punch you for saying that."

"I'm just kidding. I know it's the Beatles."

"You'd better be kidding." But he smiled and began to play, the notes coming out easily, almost effortlessly.

Nico looked at his face, trying to figure out what Will was thinking. He couldn't tell anything for sure, just that he looked… serene almost. He started singing.

"Let me take you down, cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields,

nothing is real, and nothing to get hung about.

Strawberry Fields forever.

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding is all you see

It's getting harder to be someone, but it all works out.

It doesn't matter much to me.

Let me take you down, cause I'm going to…"

Nico wasn't sure what he thought about the song. He had never really heard it before, and it was confusing. Sad, but hopeful at the same time. Nico wasn't sure it was possible to feel those things all at once. But it was kind of what he was feeling now. And he was more hopeful than sad, more happy than hopeful.

All at once.

He didn't think he had ever felt like this before. Sure, he had felt more then one thing at the same time. Regret, anger, jealousy… all the like. But this was the first time he had felt something good too.

Maybe he didn't need to stifle his emotions. Maybe he just needed to accept that he had them, embrace them, and move on.

Yeah, that was a good idea. He was going to try that.

The song finished.

"That was really good."

"Glad you liked it. It's one of my favorite Beatles songs."

"Is it about drugs or something?"

"What? No."

A pause.

"Okay, maybe."

Nico laughed. "It was a good song though! I liked it."

"Maybe it isn't about drugs, I don't know. I think it can be about whatever you want."

"That's a nice way to put it."

"Everything can be interpreted in different ways."

"True."

Will brightened. "Hey! Do you ever think about learning how to play the guitar?"

"Not really, I must admit."

"Well you should! It's really easy. Here."

He pushed the guitar into Nico's lap.

"See, if you put your finger right here and just strum the bottom three strings, you can play a really basic C chord."

Nico put his finger where Will indicated and strummed where he assumed he was supposed to.

"Wow, that sounded like shit."

"Not everyone is blessed with Apollo's gift for music, like myself. And some people just plain suck."

"Shut up."

Will smiled. "Hey, it's not that hard. I'll help you."

He got behind Nico and guided his hands across the strings, their cheeks almost touching.

"Now you just strum those bottom three there."

Will's hands on Nico's pressed down on various strings, and Nico clumsily did his best. Will was doing all the work anyway.

"It still sounds bad."

"It sounds better, you have to admit."

"Only because you're helping me."

"Only because I'm so good. Give me my guitar back."

They both laughed then, and soon the guitar was back on Will's back and they were back on their feet, with the sun back in the sky.

"We heading back to camp?"

"Yeah. I have one more thing I want to do."

"What is it?"

"It's a surprise. Just follow me."

"Okay…"

And with that Nico followed Will out of the fields, and back to camp.

The birds and the people were out, and their chatter slowly became louder as they walked. They stopped by the mess hall quickly for breakfast, but didn't sit down. Nico was slightly relieved. He felt no need to sit at the Poseidon table and deal with the occupants' numerous suspicions.

Will still wouldn't tell him where they were going.

"I don't like surprises," Nico had said loudly.

"I don't care," Will had responded.

Lo and behold, they came to the archery range.

"Fuck no. I'm leaving," Nico said, turning around on his heel.

Will grabbed his arm and yanked him back. "Oh no you're not. I heard you suck at archery, so I thought I could teach you."

"Who did you hear that from?"

"Everyone."

Nico sighed.

"It's not going to work."

"Well, lucky for you, I'm a master archer."

"Sure you are."

"You're right, I am!"

Nico didn't move.

"Come on…"

"No."

"Come on, Nico, please."

"Meh."

"Nico, I will force you."

"I'm just kidding!"

"Than get in there and let's start shooting!"

It was hard for Nico to resist Will's enthusiasm. Enthusiasm for everything. Even things like cleaning. Nico didn't understand it. But he thought it was great.

After an hour Will had hit the bullseye thirty two times.

After a few hours Nico had hit the bullseye once.

On accident.

But when he did, Will had dropped his bow and ran over and hugged him so tight Nico couldn't breathe.

"Dude! That's enough! You're going to crush me!"

"Sorry," Will said, releasing him. "I'm just really proud of you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"Well, thanks."

"You've got talent, Nico diAngelo!"

"I don't think so."

"Well, there's hope still, Nico diAngelo."

"Maybe there is."


	9. Chapter 9

"So you're just going to come walk me to breakfast everyday?"

"Yeah, is that okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Hold on, let me change."

"Can I come in?"

"Um… if you want."

"Cool."

Will stepped into the Hades cabin and frowned.

"Sorry, it's super messy," said Nico, embarrassed. He hadn't noticed it before, but now that Will was here, he noticed how unorganized everything was. Had he ever put anything in drawers? Or folded any clothes ever? When the cabin inspection team came around he had just shoved everything under the bed. They hadn't seemed particularly anxious to come inside, anyway.

"No, it's just so… gloomy in here," said Will, looking around.

"Yeah, that's kind of the point. It's the Hades cabin."

"Here, let me open a window," Will said, walking across the floor.

"No."

"Let me fold your clothes."

"No."

"Let me-"

"Will, just sit on my bed and wait. Please."

"Okay…"

Nico sighed. "You aren't going to listen, are you?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"You're just like a mom."

"I'll take it as a compliment."

Nico felt Will hug him from behind, put his head on Nico's shoulder. He rocked him back and forth a couple times, and Nico sighed.

"Will, let me go. I need to get changed."

"Liar. You know you like me here."

Very true. Nico couldn't lie about that. He liked Will a lot. But still. They were going to be late.

"Kiss me, and I'll let you go!"

Nico scowled. "Fine."

He twisted out of Will's grip and kissed him once, quickly.

"Come on. That was like, half a second. And you need to brush your teeth."

"Fuck you!" Nico called from the bathroom.

A few seconds later he heard Will gasp.

Nico stormed back into the bedroom.

"What is it now?"

Will held up the crumpled remains of the food pyramid diagram. Oh shit. Nico had forgotten all about that.

"You are dead to me," Will said, shaking his head.

"Oh yeah. Sorry," Nico mumbled. "I didn't mean to do that. I was, um, kind of angry that day…"

"It's fine," said Will brightly. "It just means we get to go over it again!"

"No way in hell," Nico said. "It's your fault for storming into my house."

"It's not your house."

"My cabin. Living space. Dorm. Whatever!"

"You're no fun."

"Now toss me that shirt."

"The one on the ground?" Will followed Nico's point.

"Yeah, the black one."

"Nico, they're all black."

"The one that's next to you!"

"Oh, okay."

Will smiled and threw the shirt at Nico's head.

"You're just trying to annoy me, aren't you," said Nico, picking up a pair of jeans.

"Is it working?"

They looked at each other for a second. Nico tried to glare, after a second he couldn't hold it any longer. Will's eyes were just so…

Why is he so cute?

"It's not fair," Nico said out loud.

"What's not fair?"

"That... you're my boyfriend and yet you're super annoying," Nico lied.

Will smiled. "You just called me your boyfriend!"

Nico blushed. "Wait, I thought we were dating…"

"We are!" said Will. "I'm just happy that you said that."

Nico suddenly felt embarrassed, but happy at the same time. Indescribably happy. Was it possible to feel that at that same time? He had never felt that before.

It seemed like everyday with Will brought something new.

"I'm going to go change in the bathroom," Nico mumbled.

"You can change out here if you want. It's not like I'm gonna stare at you."

"No, it's fine…"

"Seriously, Nico. It's fine. Loosen up. I'm here."

He said it almost hopefully, as a sort of finalization for himself more than for Nico.

Nico looked at him, sitting on the bed. For a moment he wished that there were sunlight in the room, so that it would light up Will's hair and his face and his smile.

And so he did; he opened up the curtains and let the sun in.

The room looked different in the light, almost foreign. But maybe it looked better.

"What'd you do that for?" Will asked.

"I just felt like it," Nico said. "And now I will have to go change in the bathroom, because people can see inside now."

"You go do that."

"And thanks. For saying the things you said."

"No problem. Doctor's orders."

"What? That doesn't make sense."

"It made more sense in my head. Whatever. Go get changed."

"That's what I've been trying to do ever since you came in here, Will."

"Then go do it!"

When Nico came out of the bathroom, finally dressed, Will was attempting to smooth out the wrinkled food pyramid.

"Will, I got it. Trust me, you've already told me enough."

Will raised an eyebrow.

"Are you sure? You don't eat anything normally, and then when we went to New York you said you wanted to go to McDonald's. And then you proceeded to eat enough for three people. That's not exactly healthy!"

"I like McDonald's, so what?"

"McDonald's isn't healthy. But you know what is? Have you tried-"

"That's it," said Nico, getting behind Will and pushing him off the bed. "Get out of my cabin."

"Wait! Hear me out…"

"Get out."

Will kept talking as Nico took him by the shoulders and steered him out of the cabin.

He kept talking all the way to the mess hall.

Nico didn't mind. He tuned had learned how to tune out Will's ramblings almost the day after they had met.

But it was also kind of nice, to hear Will talk about something he cared about. Which was in this case, medical stuff.

And Nico.

Will didn't stop talking until they slid into the Poseidon table.

"Are you guys ready for capture the flag?" said Percy, his mouth full of food. "It's gonna be great this time. Apparently they got those giant scorpions again."

"Really?" said Piper. "What are they like?"

"Pretty awesome," Percy responded.

"Yeah, but…"

"I think Piper and I are on the same team for once," said Jason, kissing her out of her confusion. She linked her arm through his.

"Good for you, now I won't have to destroy you."

"I'm not going to say I doubt you, but… lightning powers."

"Jason Grace, you overestimate yourself."

Laughter.

It suddenly occurred to Nico that everyone at the table except for him and Will were dating.

Well, I mean, we are a couple.

Not that anyone knows.

It put Nico slightly on edge, and he scooted slightly away from Will.

"Athena's cabin is with Hades," said Annabeth, talking to Nico. "So we'll be together."

She smiled, and Nico smiled back. She had always been nice to him, even when not many people were. He liked Annabeth, but he couldn't believe he had ever resorted to pretending he had a crush on her. Actually, at the time, he really wished he did. Then it would have made everything less complicated. Still, there was a small part of him that was reluctant to open up to her.

It annoyed him that he still hung onto the Percy thing. Not a lot, in fact, it was barely there anymore. Now that basically all his friends knew about it, it shouldn't really matter. Even Will knew, and had been okay with it. But it still unsettled him sometimes, just to know he had had those feelings at some point and that they might still be in him, somewhere.

"Who is Apollo with, do you know?" Will asked.

"I think you're with us," Annabeth said. "Percy and Jason are somehow on the same team. I don't know how that happened."

"Sweet!" Percy and Jason high-fived.

"Dude, we're going to kick some monster ass."

"You got that right."

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Oh please. You're not that great."

Percy mock gasped. "Babe, you don't think I'm the greatest demigod that ever lived?"

"No, the second. Behind me."

"I'd be alright with that."

"You're still pretty great."

"Yeah, so are you."

They kissed, and Jason and Piper soon followed suit.

Jesus christ, how much more awkward can this get?

"So, what's going on with you and Nico, Will? I heard you guys ditched patrol last week."

A lot more awkward.

"That's not true," said Nico quickly.

"Yeah, we went to New York," said Will at the same time.

Nico stamped on Will's foot, hard.

"Ow! What was that for?"

Nico tried to give Will what he thought was a warning look, but if the look of confusion on Will's face was any indication, he either had not succeeded or Will did just not understand signals. One of the two. Nico suspected it was the latter.

"You went to New York?" Piper said, excited. "I love it there. What'd you guys do?"

"Not much."

"We went to the art museum."

Nico almost threw up his hands right there. Gods, he loved him, but Will was the most oblivious human being he had ever met. Actually, no. He knew Percy Jackson.

Whatever. That was besides the point.

"Yeah, yeah, we had fun," said Nico. "And now Will and I are going to go get ready for capture the flag. Right, Will?"

"Sure, I guess? But-"

"We're going to go get ready. See you guys there."

And with that Nico practically dragged Will from the table.

As soon as they were out of hearing range from the others, Will spoke.

"What was that all about?"

"Sorry, it's nothing."

Will looked at Nico suspiciously. "Is there something wrong?"

"What? No. Of course not."

Will didn't say anything.

"It's just that, well, I just didn't want people to know that we went to New York. Since it's against the rules and all."

"Since when do you care about the rules?"

"I…"

Will looked at the ground, still walking.

"Wait, Will," Nico said. He felt a little panicked, almost. No. This was not going to happen again.

"Sorry. I just got nervous. Let's just forget about it."

Will sighed. "All right. I guess I'm just out of it."

"Well, hopefully you can snap out of it. We have capture the flag soon," Nico said hurriedly.

"Yeah, you're right," said Will, brightening. "Let's go kick some ass!"

Nico smiled.

He should just play it cool. No one had to know yet.

A while later, Nico was equipped in the usual ill-fitting armor and creeping through the woods.

He and Will hadn't seen any people for a long time, much less any giant scorpions.

"Do you want to rest for a minute?" Will asked.

Nico usually would have declined, but he felt like he owed it to Will after the mess hall.

"Sure," he said.

They sat down on the forest floor, not saying anything for a moment.

"Hey," Nico said quietly.

"What?"

"You know I love you, right?"

Will looked softly surprised, his mouth falling open a little before curling into a smile.

"I love you too."

Nico leaned over and kissed him, and Will kissed him back. And didn't stop. Nico found himself pushed up against the tree trunk, Will straddling him. Nico laced his fingers through Will's hair. Will had never been this aggressive. He wondered what had gotten into him.

He quickly forgot about about. Actually, he forgot about everything except for the feel of Will's lips and his hands running down his body, and after a while he couldn't breath but he didn't care, because Will was there and he loved him and his face everything about him. Especially his body now.

And then he heard a rustling noise.

At first he didn't think anything of it, and then it stopped.

Nico looked over Will's shoulder to see someone else standing there.

It was a young camper, who Nico didn't know.

All the air in Nico's body left him.

Will crawled off of him, and for a few seconds they just stared at the other camper, and he stared back.

Then he turned on his heel and ran.

Will and Nico sat there, breathing heavily. It became quiet.

"Let's go then," said Nico, getting up.

A million thoughts were racing through his head. That camper had seen a lot. That camper knew more than he should. And now he was gone.

And he was probably going to tell everyone.

And everyone would know.

Oh gods.

"Hey, Nico, don't worry about it," said Will, touching his shoulder.

"No, it's not okay," Nico said without thinking.

It's not okay.

"But… we're dating."

"Yeah, I know, but not officially."

Nico didn't want to look at the expression that Will surely had on his face. It was bad enough to imagine it.

"Nico…"

"Look, it'll be fine," said Nico. "I'm going to go… capture the flag. It would be better if we split up."

"Okay…Nico, wait, let's-"

But Nico had already run off. He could feel the wind rushing through his hair, his skin felt cold from the absence of heat blossoming on it a few minutes ago. He ran and he ran and he ran until his chest was bursting.

Eventually he thought it might be best if he shadow-traveled and left camp. Just for a day, just to get his thoughts together. He would talk to Will tomorrow. He would understand.


	10. Chapter 10

Nico's team ended up winning capture the flag after all.

While some archers from the Apollo cabin were distracting Percy and Jason, Nico shadow-traveled right in front of the flag. By accident. He was distracted.

But he was there, so he thought he might as well hurry up and capture the damn flag.

By the time Seaweed Brain and Superman noticed, Nico was long gone.

Nico didn't know if it was cheating or not, but hey. The guards could have been there to stop him.

So now he stood there, back in his team's territory, with a blue flag in his arms.

And it occurred to him why he had shadow traveled in the first place.

It was to get away from Will!

Cold dread snaked into his stomach again as he remembered. That boy, that stupid little boy, was still out there somewhere. He had probably already told everyone what he saw. Maybe not, but Nico couldn't take any chances. He had been too caught up in the idiotic game to jump ship while he could.

And now it was too late. His team ran out from the trees, congratulating him, surrounding him. He couldn't very well shadow-travel now.

The campers seemed normal. They didn't treat Nico any differently. Maybe the boy hadn't shared his monumental discovery of seeing Nico pinned and straddled against a tree.

Gods, that sounds so bad.

Gods…

What if his father was watching?

Nico didn't even want to think about that.

He was about eighty percent sure that Hades knew he was gay already. But still… he hadn't come out and told him. He hadn't even come out officially. Only a few of his friends knew, and even that was a few too many sometimes.

And now he saw Will coming towards him, smiling.

How was he still smiling after all this?

Will ran right up and hugged Nico, who froze in his arms.

"I knew you wouldn't leave," Will whispered.

"What?" Nico pried Will away from his body. "I…"

"I thought you were going to shadow travel, but you didn't!"

Will looked at him, smiling, panting a little from the game.

He had misunderstood. Nico had tried to run away. He just miscalculated. Should he tell Will that? He wasn't sure. Probably no.

"You know, since you have a tendency to literally run away from your problems," Will added. He moved in closer, continued. "Do you think that little kid told?"

"Keep your voice down!" Nico hissed.

"Nico…"

Will touched his shoulder. Nico brushed it off. There were people all around them. And they were starting to look.

Will's eyes widened at the rejection. "Are you… are you mad at me?"

"What? No, Will," Nico pleaded. "I'm not, it's just…there's a lot of people here and…"

Will looked puzzled.

"Look," said Nico finally. "Can we go talk somewhere else? I'm really… tired."

That wasn't completely a lie, but it was still about ninety percent false.

"Yeah, sure," Will said, and followed Nico out of the crowd.

They walked in silence for a moment before Nico was sure they were out of earshot.

"I'll bet that stupid camper told," Nico said. "We have to find him and stop him. Or maybe do you think he didn't? In that case, we should still go find him and get him to not tell. I can be really intimidating when I want to be so-"

"Nico!" Will laughed. "Slow down."

"What?"

"It's okay, I told you that. I mean, is it really that bad if he tells?"

They had reached the Hades cabin, and Nico shut the door behind them. Will flopped down on the bed, hugging a pillow to his chest.

"Why wouldn't it be bad?" Nico asked, straying by the door.

He could not think of any possible reason as to why it would be good. Just as he had finally gotten to be somewhat normal at camp, it would all be for nothing. Because people would start again with the staring, with the whispering, with the everything that Nico hated so much.

"It wouldn't be bad at all!" Will pressed. "I mean, everyone already thinks I'm gay, so-"

"But they don't know I'm gay," Nico said. "Look, let's not talk about this right now."

"But-"

"I don't want to talk about it," said Nico flatly.

"Fine," Will agreed. "But we will have to sometime. Okay?"

Nico thought. What else could he do? "Okay."

"Come here," Will said softly.

Nico stepped forward reluctantly.

"Closer, you idiot."

Nico stopped in front of the bed, and Will traced his finger down Nico's face, his collarbone, his torso. Nico swallowed.

"What are you doing?" he whispered.

"What do you think I'm doing?" Will said back, other hand tangling in Nico's hair.

"But- we just-" Nico started, flustered. He couldn't get a full sentence out, not with Will's hands on him. "Why are you so… into it today?"

"I don't know," said Will, letting go of Nico. "You're acting weird. I just want to show you that I love you. Is that so hard to understand?"

"No, I understand," Nico said. "Look, it's fine."

"Apparently, you're not fine," Will said.

They looked at each other for a second.

Nico didn't quite know what to say. Will had been mad at him before, but this time he was scarier. Maybe because they were so close now, maybe because it was about something more. Nico did the only thing he could think of to do. He leaned into kiss Will.

Will pushed him away. "No, you know what, Nico, not right now. You have successfully turned me off."

"Turned you off?! You're the one who's been pushing themselves on me all day!"

Will glared at him, and Nico immediately felt bad.

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Just… what happened today has me a little on edge. I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you." He looked at Will, hoping that he would say something before Nico melted into a puddle on the floor.

Will sighed. "I guess I'm not mad at you… I don't know. It's been a long day. Do you just want to go to dinner?"

"Okay," said Nico quietly. "Let's go then."

And his heart was pounding in his chest, it seemed to beat a thousand times per minute. He didn't want to go. Nico didn't think he could face the moment, the moment when they walked into mess hall, together, and everyone would look up and whisper and stare. But he had just said yes. Will was… Will was hurt. So Nico needed to do this.

He remembered what Will had said just an hour before.

Is it really that bad if he tells?

Everyone already thinks I'm gay.

And Nico:

But they don't know I'm gay.

They don't know! And they won't!

It was nobody's business but Nico's. And Will's, he supposed. And Will wanted to share that business. To make it common knowledge. Why couldn't he understand that Nico couldn't face that again? Would Will really ostracize him now, just when he was doing so well?

All the sudden, another thought struck Nico.

Why can't I understand?

How could he say that he understood Will when he really didn't at all? Had he ever? Nico thought he did. No. He understood Will. This was just an exception.

How bad could it be? Just living in private, just the two of them. Nico had always lived his life that way; he could continue on. But Will couldn't live like that. And just the thought of it now, the idea of it, seemed unbearable to Nico. He could feel his breath catch in his throat.

It was already too late, probably. Nico should have stopped the boy before he ran off, threatened him somehow. The secret was probably already out.

So Nico couldn't deny it, could he?

But at the same time, he wanted to deny it. Until the end of summer. Until the end of camp. Until the end of all time.

Not yet…

It had never been a question before, something to discuss. They were just the two of them, Nico and Will, friends or more, dating but in a secret way where no one knew, and no one would know. But had Will thought of it that way? Nico knew he hadn't.

Will was bright, he was beautiful, he was out there; Nico knew that he wanted to be free to be who he wanted to be. To do as he pleased. To kiss Nico for all he was worth in front of a whole crowd of people; to slow dance in the middle of the floor. Will didn't care, yet he cared more than anyone.

And who did Nico care about?

Himself.

Try as he might, as much as he pretended otherwise, he still only ultimately cared about himself. It was what he was used to; looking out for his own interests, for his own good. Was that was happening?

He didn't need to protect himself anymore. He was safe here. Really, what was coming out compared to fighting Romans and monsters? Why did it seem so much worse?

That was a question that Nico couldn't answer.

Will had done so much for him. So, so, much. Couldn't Nico give him just one thing back?

And he realized, he couldn't.

Was he really that selfish?

Was he really that cowardly?

Nico DiAngelo, the boy who was supposed to be scared of nothing.

What would Bianca think?

Will was waiting for him by the door. He looked the spitting image of his father; tan, lean muscles, golden hair. And his eyes. Those blue eyes.

Nico got up and followed him, unsure.

Nico had said he hadn't wanted to talk about it. He still didn't. And Will had said that they would have to talk about it at some point. Nico wondered when that would be. How long could they go before someone cracked, unable to hold the flow of their emotions? It, the problem, loomed over them as they walked, as intangible as a dark cloud.

Nico stomach seized up as the mess hall loomed into to sight. It looked ominous. Ah, he could not do this

yes you can!

no, not yet, not right now, not today.

Will said they could talk about it later.

Maybe the boy hadn't told. Maybe no one would believe him even if he did. Maybe it would all be okay.

Maybe.

Everything had been so uncertain in Nico's life so far, why would it change now? Actually, he was certain that something was going to go wrong.

He desperately wanted to hold Will's hand, to clutch it as if he would fall down a thousand stairs, a hundred cliffs if he let go.

And at the same time he wanted Will to leave, to walk into the mess hall alone, and Nico could go back to his room, draw the curtains, and lay awake wondering what had gone wrong.

Had it really come to this? He was back at square one. All because of a stupid mistake. A wrong place at the wrong time.

But, Nico was forced to realized that this situation would have happened one way or the other.

He would try to delay it a little longer.

Still, walking closer to the chatter of the campers was like wading through cement.

There was nothing at first; just the normal talk and blabber of camp.

One head turned, than the next.

"Just don't look at them," Will muttered. "Just act normal, they'll stop eventually."

Nico nodded mutely, and followed Will, cutting a path through the tables.

Was it just him, or had it gotten quieter?

He could feel eyes on his back, everywhere.

Will smiled slightly. "It's not that bad. It's like we're famous!"

Easy for you to say!

When the got to the edge of the hall, Nico stopped.

"What are you doing?" asked Will, turning around. "Come on."

"No," Nico whispered. "Will, I can't."

"Yes you can, Nico. It'll be all better tomorrow."

Would it really?

Nico really, really wanted to believe him.

He didn't think he could.

Maybe it would be true. Maybe Will was right.

But Nico couldn't, he just couldn't. Not like this.

"Will, please. Let's not do this."

"Not do what?" Will had begun drifting from confused to angry, his brow deepening. "What is this, Nico? We're going to dinner!"

"Don't make a scene," Nico said.

"Don't make a-" Will broke off. His face changed. "Look, Nico, I know you don't think so, but it's going to be okay. Let's just eat, and then you can go back to your cabin and sleep, alright? We don't have to say anything to anyone. They can think what they want."

Will moved forward, as if to grab Nico's hands. Nico took a step back, another, almost tripping on himself.

Will opened his mouth slightly, a small, stifled gasp.

"They can't think what they want, Will! Because what they think will be... that is…."

Nico was running out of breath; he was running out of steam out of hope.

Gods, why was he so scared?

It took hold of him every time, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"Will, just let us leave. Please. Just for tonight. We'll be back in the morning, I promise."

He hated himself for wanting to cry, but he could feel his throat getting tighter and tighter, frustration and worry and fear and grief digging in like rope.

Will's face showed nothing.

And because Will was so easy to read, it scared Nico even more.

"Will…" he whispered, almost pleading. "Please…"

"No," Will said, firmly and as sure as Nico had ever heard him. "Nico, if you walk out of here right now, I'm not following you. I'm not."

"Will…"

"No, don't do this to me again, Nico. Don't do it to me."

And it was another crack in Nico's heart to see that Will, beautiful, perfect Will, was almost crying too.

"Will, you don't understand. I…" Nico took in a shaky breath. "This isn't the right time. Tomorrow, I promise. We can deal with it. Pick me up in the mornings like you always do, and we'll go to breakfast. It's- it's been an awful day. Tomorrow it will all be better."

Will looked at him, long and hard. Nico could see fireflies behind him, somehow making the scene seem even less real. It already seemed like a dream.

"You promise?"

"I promise," gasped Nico. "I really do."

Will nodded, but he didn't look convinced.

"Go, then."

"Will-"

"Go. Just go. I'll see you tomorrow."

Nico walked away from him.

And he could tell that Will stood there, unmoving, for the longest time.


	11. Chapter 11

When Nico woke up, the darkness was stifling.

More than stifling; it seemed to choke him, to latch onto him like leeches.

The shadows were converging on him now, wide and sweeping, they reached out for him with long, spindly appendages.

Nico tried to run, but he couldn't. He was being held down

it is the darkness

and he couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't think a thought besides pure panic.

And underneath him, burning. He felt as if the darkness was being drawn from within himself, deep at first but being brought to the surface quickly, leaving and entering and swirling around him, being shoved down his throat.

He could see Gaea rise out of the mist now, her face forming out of tendrils as she had out of the ground. She smiled at him, cruelly. Her mouth opened, forming words with no sound, but Nico still knew what she was saying.

This time we're not letting you out.

Nico screamed then, like an animal; it seemed like he could almost taste the insanity that was coming, seeping into his brain in slow noxious waves.

He tried to fight it

please, no, please please

but the apparition in front of him only laughed, and then the face morphed and there was Bianca, walking towards him.

She was glowing slightly, and she was smiling, but she seemed not to notice Nico.

She reached forward to pick up something on the ground, a toy.

And suddenly the light around her turned throbbing and she screamed.

Her ghost seemed to shoot apart in a shower of sparks.

Nico was vaguely aware that he was crying; he tried to close his eyes but saw the same thing.

He screamed again, and kept screaming; he wrestled away from the binds that were holding him and stumbled, hands flailing, until he found a wall and slid down it, curled in the corner.

It was the jar! He was in the jar again! Or Tartarus, or was he in both?

He put his arms over his head and hoped it would be over, and he could barely breath because he was crying, and screaming, and

A beam of light pierced through his vision.

"Nico!"

And suddenly he felt arms around him, but not stifling him. Protecting him. He instinctively unraveled himself and frantically clutched the body in front of him.

Something seemed to SNAP in his mind.

He was in his room, and he was being held by Will Solace.

For a moment he didn't care, and he was glad to just be there in his arms, cradled like a child, crying and gasping and trying to pull himself together. He felt Will stroking his hair; he was whispering to him, something about it's going to be okay, and I'm here.

And then as his mind slowly returned, he realized the situation.

"Will, I'm okay, I'm good now…"

Will didn't let go of him.

"Are you sure?"

He wiped a tear of Nico's cheek and Nico sighed, partly from embarrassment and partly from tiredness and annoyance and love.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just… since Tartarus… sometimes it's like…"

Will nodded, and didn't make Nico finish his sentence. He seemed to understand, but Nico wondered if he really did. He was probably just trying to spare Nico the embarrassment, or the hurt.

Gods, does he have good bedside manner.

Nico crawled away from his grip. It had suddenly become awkward.

He could remember all that had happened last night much too well.

Perhaps that had caused… it.

"I was waiting for you and then I hear screaming, so I came in," Will said. "I thought… I thought that something terrible had happened."

"The war is over," Nico said.

"It doesn't mean I can't worry," Will responded. "I worry about you, Nico. I worry about you a lot."

"Thanks," Nico said finally. "But I'm fine."

"Are you?" Will said. "Maybe you should come down to the infirmary."

"No! I'm good," Nico persisted. He stood up and went to get a drink of water. The mirror did not quite prove his point.

"If you say so," sighed Will.

There was silence.

Nico could hear the faucet leak.

Drops onto porcelain.

Plip, plop.

One, two.

Who would speak first?

"Are you still mad at me?" Nico said finally. He knew it sounded awful. Insensitive. But he needed to say it, needed to say something to fill the unbearable silence.

Will looked down at his hands, as if contemplating.

Then he sighed again, and it made Nico's heart ache. Will never sighed. Maybe if he was joking, but not… not like this. Something was wrong. Nico already knew that, he supposed, but he had clung on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, it would all be forgotten. Like sleep would just erase it, and that the new day would bring a clean slate. Instead sleep had turned on Nico, had bitten him hard.

And Nico knew that what had happened between Will couldn't be forgotten. Because they had yet to face it. There was no moving on from it until they tackled it, faced it head on, took the bull by its horns. It didn't matter how Nico worded it, it was just something that needed to be done. And no wording made it seem less prominent, or less intimidating.

And since Nico had caused the problem, only he could undo it.

But that had proved difficult.

It seemed that he could not give himself an ultimatum. He couldn't tell himself that yes, today is the day. Instead all he could give himself were empty promises, or vague hopes that maybe someday he would deal with it. And this had happened even after the scene in the woods. Nico knew he couldn't hide anymore. And yet he tried.

It was something so counter-logic that Nico was surprised that he had stuck with it.

But it was there, in his head, and it stuck like a grudge and stayed there.

Your fatal flaw.

Will had made him erase his grudges in the past.

So why couldn't he do it again?

Nico couldn't stand Will's silence; the silence following the terrible sigh and lack of eye contact.

He was scared, and in that moment it seemed the most scared he had ever felt in his life.

If Will hated him, if he did…

And then suddenly Will spoke.

"I'm not...mad at you."

Nico's mind was so flooded with relief, he didn't catch the tone at first.

"That's great!"

And then…

"Wait, what do you mean?"

Will sighed again.

Don't sigh!

"Nico, I came here to tell you something."

Silence again.

Nico's throat felt dry even though he had just drank. He resisted the urge to fill himself another glass, and forced himself to stare at Will, who wasn't looking back at him.

He suddenly remembered the earlier days in the mess hall, when one of them would look up and would see the other looking too, and someone would smile.

He wasn't sure why he was thinking that.

And no one was smiling now.

"What do you have to tell me?" Nico whispered.

"That I don't think I can do this." Will blurted out.

"Oh."

And then Nico was remembering the first time they had kissed, and the pure heat that had seemed to radiate, like a star, and then the time after that, and the time after that…

Ah!

It was like his life was flashing before his eyes.

Nico realized that Will was his life.

"Wait!" he said miserably. "What… what do you mean?"

"I mean that…" Will paused. "I don't want you to take this really bad."

"Take it badly?"

"It's just that… I can already see you doing that. And I came here purposely to tell you what I'm about to tell you right now, and then I found you in the state you were in… and-"

"Tell me," Nico said. "Just tell me. Tell me right now."

He could feel his bottom lip trembling, and he bit it hard to stop. He could taste blood.

"Nico, don't take this too hard, please, I don't want you to-"

"Tell me."

"I… "

Will took a step forward.

He took a deep breath, or at least tried to; it came out shakily.

"I think that we should take a break."

Nico's mind went blank.

Then he imagined it somehow had turned on autopilot, because he said: "Okay."

Not why. He knew why. It had been entirely his fault.

"It's just that, I can't… I can't, gods, I can't really find the words," Will said, laughing slightly.

Then the words spilled out at him all at once, and he was tripping over himself but it seemed he was releasing a stream of thought, long collected and unraveling now, all over himself and into the air.

"Just every time, Nico, every single time that something goes wrong, you blame yourself. You attack yourself, and you run away and try to pass it off but you can't, you can't, Nico! It doesn't work that way when you're in a relationship.

"I'm here too, Nico! I'm here, and I try to understand you again and again. And just when I think I do, you pull something and it turns out I don't. Sometimes I feel like you don't even care, and you just… you like being miserable!

"And I know, I know Nico, that you've been through these terrible, terrible, things. But I don't understand why you don't think moving on is a good idea! Because that's the only way that you'll be fixed Nico, if you just stop hiding. But if you're not going to, then I don't think I can help you anymore."

Nico saw, he saw with every detail Will's eyes welling up and spilling over, he saw his hands shaking, saw them grapple to find something to do and failing.

"Nico," he gasped. "Nico, I love you! I love you so much that sometimes I don't even know what the hell I'm going to do with myself! All I want is to hold your hand. I just want to kiss you, to be near you. And I want to do those things in public. So everyone can see how much I love you! Can't you see? That's how much I love you.

"It's not fair. It's not. But I'm not like you, Nico. So I'm going to try to move on. Maybe that will help. So I don't think we should be… dating, or I don't know, friends, even! If you're going to act like this. I mean, you yourself said we weren't dating officially. That hurt. I know you didn't mean it, but it hurt. Because it's real, it was real to me, Nico. Is it not to you?"

He finally looked at Nico straight on then. His eyes were reproachful and sad and angry and just plain terrible, Nico couldn't look away but he wanted to, he wanted to so bad.

He imagined he could see his own self reflected in them, swirling out and dissolving.

"I… didn't mean to say that much," Will said suddenly, stumbling backwards as if hit by some unseen force.

"Nico, don't cry, please, don't cry…"

He stepped forward as if to touch Nico, but hesitated and fell back.

"I'm not crying…" Nico said uselessly, but he knew he was.

He hated the fact that he was. He didn't want to do this in front of Will, didn't want to do this in front of anybody.

"Nico…" Will said again. "That was out of line. I'm sorry. We can still be friends."

"Still be friends?" said Nico. "I don't think I can, I'm sorry. Not if…"

"Not even that?" Will asked.

"Will," Nico said, trying to sound firm. "Did you… did you mean everything you said?"

Will looked at him sadly.

"I guess I did, Nico," he said slowly. "But those are just thoughts. I didn't mean for it to come out like that."

"But that is what you think… and what you want."

"I guess it is."

"Okay," Nico said shakily. "Okay. Okay."

Goddamit, it's not okay.

"If that's what you want."

"I don't know, Nico, is it? This is really hard-"

"No, Will. You meant what you said. It's okay. I understand."

"Really?"

"Really."

"I love you, Nico," Will said, his voice sounding strangled. "But I-"

"I know," Nico whispered. "I know."

They stood there for a moment.

It seemed that Nico could not contain the magnitude of what had just happened within himself, and so his subconscious was trying to delay it. To delay the moment where it would inevitably crash and burn. Softening the impact.

It had not hit him yet, quite fully. But Nico knew that it would.

But he knew that he could not stand the sight of Will standing here, looking hopelessly lost, for one second longer.

He asked him to leave. He said it nicely.

As Will walked out, he choked out some last few sentences, trying to compensate.

"Nico, if you ever, ever want to change, then, by all means, I'm here! If you need help, I'm here. Nico, please!"

He said the last few words with such an urgency that Nico paused in the midst of closing the door.

"Please, Will, just leave. I need some… time."

"I understand," Will said, and Nico knew that he did, but that he didn't want to believe it was true.

Just like Nico didn't want to believe that any of this was happening. Just like he didn't want to believe that he was the one who caused it, but he knew it was the truth.

He could feel something sinking down in him.

Then he closed the door and Will left and he stood there for a while, before he finally sat down.

A conversation came to mind.

"Hey, you know what?"

"What?"

"I don't think we're as different as you think."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I just think… just something about the way we think is the same. The way we are. It's hard to put into words."

"No, I think I get what you're saying."

"You do?"

"It's not really something that we have to perfectly understand."

"It just is."

But this time it seemed they both perfectly understood, understood what had gone wrong and what could and could not be fixed.

It was the ways they were different.

And though maybe not many, those differences were large.

Maybe unsurmountable.

I love you, Will had said.

I love you too.


	12. Chapter 12

Will had left him.

He had left him.

Actually, Nico had shown him out the door.

If there was ever a time he needed Bianca, it was now.

But she wasn't there, she was gone, and Will was gone.

He is gone.

Nico repeated it to himself even when he didn't want to. It seemed to creep into his mind at every opportunity, and every time it emerged he felt wildly like stabbing someone, or maybe himself. It had been three days since Will had walked out of the Hades cabin. He had not walked back in since, but it wasn't like Nico was expecting him to.

Still, a small part of him believed that he would. That Will would come running up to his door, practically skipping, and that Nico would tell him to slow down and he would, almost tripping in his haste. And then maybe he would grab Nico by the hand and say I miss you. And then Nico would apologize for all the awful, terrible things he had done, and then they would kiss and everyone would forget anything had ever happened between them. It would be just like before.

But it didn't work that way.

Nico's life was broken. Since he was born, nothing seemed to work.

The days seemed slow.

He hadn't really noticed how much he relied on Will until now. He hadn't realized that he had always had a sort of sense about him, almost gnawing, the need to see Will and to love and to be loved by him. It was practically a disease. And Will had left him with no cure.

Nico had spent the first day in his cabin. He had barely moved. Somehow he had managed not to cry, and he was glad for it, so very glad. He had replayed the events in his head, the way Will had looked. His face. His hands, shaking. And his eyes, they almost seemed to haunt Nico. They floated around his thoughts ever so often with the feelings they conveyed, and Nico honestly did not know what he would do if it continued for much longer. But he knew it would.

Perhaps the second day he had felt angry. Really angry, like he wanted to find Will and punch him. Almost shake him, and ask him why, why, he had to do this. Why he had to do this to him, Nico Diangelo, who had already gone through enough shit for twenty lifetimes. It was all Will's fault. Will was the one who didn't understand.

And the next day Nico had realized what he had always known, which was that he was the one who didn't understand.

Didn't understand how to be in a relationship. Didn't understand what was okay and what was not okay. Didn't understand Will's feelings. And most of all, didn't understand how to be brave.

And he had been a coward, a fucking coward, and that was how he had let Will slip from his fingers and from under him and from himself completely.

It seemed that Will had carved a void in Nico. Something that only Will could fix again, but wouldn't.

Nico thought of him a lot. He thought about him too much.

He tried to take his mind of it. He actually went to camp activities. He did his best to ignore the rumours. But after all, there was no reason for anyone to believe them anymore. Will seemed to go out of his way to avoid Nico. And Nico did the same.

He felt like he didn't have a purpose. And he was mad at himself, furious, that he had let himself believe in something like him and Will, to have given himself away so fully only to not be given it back. Will had stolen something from him, and Nico had more than assisted him.

He felt as if he were not living, but merely going through the motions. In other words, he felt dead. And not in a joking manner, not at all. He had never felt like this before, even at his worst. He had always been able to maintain some anger, some hope, some spark of life that he would tend and fan until it consumed him. And maybe this time he had gone too far, and he had burned himself. And Nico had to admit that this might be the worst he had ever felt.

What was physical pain, trauma, utter exhaustion, compared to this? And yet this felt so much worse. It was something he could not contain. No matter how many times he tried to force it out, it came crawling back.

He needed Will. He needed him.

And Nico had devised his own destruction. Fulfilled his own prophecy.

He was always, always like this.

The only good thing to come out of it was that he didn't care what people thought of him anymore. What would be that discomfort compared to this? It would not keep him awake at night. It would not take over his mind, his energy, his life.

Honestly, he didn't even care anymore. He just wanted Will. But Will had not talked to him since that day, since that morning. He had not so much as looked at Nico. One time Nico had tried to walk up to him and Will had sped away in the other direction.

So basically, Will must hate him. That seemed the only viable conclusion.

Nico almost wished he would hallucinate again, just so he could see Bianca.

And then he remembered. He still had a sister.

Hazel.

He had his first idea in days.

He needed someone to talk to. Someone not at camp, someone who would listen. Someone who maybe wouldn't judge him that much. The key word being that much.

He shadow-traveled himself down to the river. It had gotten easier these days.

Maybe my darkness has come back.

That's ridiculous.

He waited until the spray on the rocks produced a rainbow. He tossed a drachma in, pictured her face and name clearly.

She appeared before him, softly. He knew she wasn't really there. But as she faded into focus she appeared so lifelike that Nico almost didn't notice the gradations around edges, the slight tremor of the projection.

She looked the same, pretty as always. Almost the same as how she had looked when Nico had pulled her out of Asphodel. But she was older now, he reminded himself. Different. Like him.

"Nico," she said, and just hearing the sound of her voice seemed to make the situation better. Just the tiniest bit, the smallest fraction, but better.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Is that the first thing you say to me?" said Nico. "What about 'hi'?"

"Hi," she said, not really listening. "Something's wrong. Tell me."

"How did you know?"

"Your face, just your expression. You look… lost. Nico, what's wrong?"

"Uhh-"

All the sudden he didn't want to tell her. It just seemed so… embarrassing; degrading? Nico couldn't find the right word for it but it was there, and if his cheeks could blush they would have. Everything seemed to come close now, once again he was filled to the brim, threatening to spill over, where he would follow it, falling.

He's made me melodramatic.

But that was how he felt, and he could find no other way to describe it. There were no simple terms that could encapsulate his thoughts now.

And suddenly, just like Will had standing in the middle of the cabin floor, something clicked or broke inside of him and he told Hazel everything, absolutely everything. From the beginning to end. He didn't care how pathetic it made him sound. He didn't care, he only knew he wanted to finish what he was saying, to get it out. He barely registered Hazel's face reacting, the image flickering as he talked on and on. The last time he had droned on this much was about Mythomagic maybe five years ago.

When he was done, Hazel closed her eyes for a slight second.

"So yeah, that's what's going on," Nico offered lamely. "It's totally my fault."

She shook her head. "Nico…"

"Don't coddle me. I know it's true."

"You're right. It's your fault."

Nico was taken aback. He had been expecting her to deny it.

"So now it's up to you to fix it, isn't it?"

"He could come back to me."

"That's not how this works, and you know it."

"Fuck," said Nico, at a loss to say anything else.

"Watch your language."

"Sorry."

"How much does he matter to you anyway?" she asked.

"Oh…"

"How could he even begin to describe? How much time had he spent thinking the same question over and over, and yet being shown the answer every time he freaking woke up?

"He matters a lot. A lot. And at this point, I don't even care anymore. I just want him to... I just want it to be like it was."

"Nico, what do you think Will wanted of you? More than anything?"

"Playing the therapist, Hazel?"

She rolled her eyes. "Hey. You were the one who called me. You want my advice or not?"

Nico immediately felt bad. "Yes. Yes, I do."

"Then answer the question."

"He…" It was almost too much to think about.

"He wanted to me to be happy."

"More than that."

"Well, he wanted to be happy too. He wanted us to be happy together."

"But he wasn't happy?"

"No, I guess not," Nico said slowly.

"That's why he broke up with you. What could've made him happy, do you think?"

"He wanted us… he wanted us to be able to be out there. To share with everyone. Have everyone know."

"So you know what would've have made him happy. So why didn't you do it?"

She did not say it accusingly. She had said it so simply that Nico couldn't believe that he hadn't considered it that way from the very beginning. It was a simple question. It was what Will wanted, and Nico had always known. And he had been aware of that knowledge, but had chosen to ignore it, to send it to the back of his mind.

"Nico, why didn't you do it?"

"Because I was scared. I cared too much about myself. I cared too much about what other people would think."

Suddenly Hazel's eyes lit up, and she smiled. "Aha!"

"Eureka, whatever."

"No, that's not it! Nico, stop acting emo."

"Fine. You realize you're like the only person that can tell me that without getting sucked into the ground, right?"

"Trust me, I'm well aware. And that's a whole other problem. Stop distracting me. But you said, you just said that you don't care anymore, right? That you don't care, as long as you get Will back."

"Yeah, I guess I did."

"So…" She gestured with her hand, waiting for him to catch on to her train of thought. He was reluctant to do so.

"So what?"

"So now you don't care what other people think! And you know what he wants, so you can get him back!"

Nico blinked. It seemed he had dug his own grave. What was he even thinking, telling her all this?

Or maybe, just maybe, he had opened a window.

"So what should I do?" he asked finally. His heart was beating. He felt nervous. And scared, very scared. But he also felt hopeful.

"I don't know," she said. "I'm thousands of miles away from you. I don't know what Camp Half Blood is like."

"You don't have any ideas?"

"No, shouldn't that be your job? You know him much better than I do. You know what he likes."

"Yeah, I guess, but I'm not good at things like this."

"You're creative!"

"Yeah, maybe when it comes to war strategies. This is totally different."

"It's a romantic comedy!"

"Hazel… no. Just no."

"Sorry."

Nico smiled. "Don't worry about it."

"But I seriously think that you should think of something yourself. Did you ask him out or did he ask you out?"

"It just sort of… happened."

Her nod was a little too knowing. Nico had told her way too many details.

"Well, think about it."

"I'll try."

"Nico, don't worry too much. It seems like he still loves you. And you love him. So what's the problem?"

Everything, Nico wanted to say. Or going off of that, I'm the problem.

But hearing it said like Hazel had, it really didn't seem that big at all. Not something unsurmountable.

All the sudden Frank burst into the screen.

"Hey Nico! What are you guys talking about?"

"Oh my god," said Nico.

"Nico! Be nice!" Hazel said, hugging Frank's neck.

She is so much smaller than him! Damn!

"Sorry. Hey, Frank."

"What are you guys-"

"Nothing," said Hazel. "Just camp life."

"Cool! Nico, how's it going, man?"

Nico gave Hazel a look. Really?

She gave him one back. Be nice.

They were pretty adept at interpreting each other's looks, Nico would say.

"I'm good now, actually," Nico said, and he was surprised to find that he meant it.

They small talked for another minute, and Nico watched Hazel laughing, and smiling; her eyes lighting up for Frank. An hour ago it would have made Nico feel awful, but now he found he almost enjoyed it. Not that it wasn't slightly annoying how in love they were. But they had both been through alot, and Nico really did feel that Frank was good for Hazel. And he had really high standards for his sister. And Frank knew that if he ever hurt Hazel, Nico would come after him. Oh, he would. Definitely. But Nico was pretty sure that was never going to happen. It actually was nice to see them interact.

They had had problems, hadn't they? Jealousy with Leo and what not? And Annabeth and Percy too. Jason and Piper. Every couple he knew, they had always had at least one bump in the road.

So maybe this was his.

Nico had hope that maybe he and Will would look back on this time and laugh. Or maybe even tell their kids.

Woah, don't get ahead of yourself.

Hazel had helped more than she knew.

When they said goodbye, he felt better. A hundred times better. A million times better. He watched the rainbow fade into the air and felt relieved.

He walked with a purpose. He could do this! He was good now. And he knew exactly what he had to do.

Wait.

No I don't.

He sat down to think. This was going to take a while.


	13. Chapter 13

For the first time in maybe forever, Nico couldn't think of a plan.

How could he not? He didn't understand. He had been in two wars in five years; even then he had never been at a loss. Get back his sister? No problem, though that didn't work. Make Percy fall in love with him? That didn't work either, it just made Percy even more invincable than he already was, if that was even possible. Come to think of it, how many of his plans did actually work? Not very many, apparently.

And now this was on a much smaller scale. Get back with Will. Romance, not that hard, right? Wrong. At least as far as Nico was concerned. Though it would seem to be not as monumental, not as pressing, to Nico it was. It was all those things and more. For the first time Nico felt as if he could not possibly fail, and if he did the world would really end, by his own hand, collapsing around him. It was stupid. But it seemed like that, it really did, and it frustrated Nico out of his mind that he had next to nothing to show for himself after more than a few days of deliberating.

What would Will like? How could he say it? How could he avoid making a complete fool out of himself?

I kind of already have.

It already seemed like less of a blow, less of a depression. Now instead Nico was only left with some sort of burning determination; he could feel it steaming inside of him as he grew more and more anxious. It was pushing back the sadness, the loss; now all that was left was the yearning, the wanting for the problem to be solved, the gash to be closed. If only Nico knew what to do next.

Should he do something big? Something small? Even if he had thought he knew Will well, they had been apart for too long; every day that passed left Nico a little less sure. He second-guessed himself time and time again. He felt the need to execute whatever it would be perfectly, to make sure what had happened before would never, ever, happen again. It was a hard thing to do, to wait for an idea to hit. To wait in a state of limbo, wanting to do something but not being able to.

There was only one thing he knew for sure, and that was that he wanted Will back.

He was practicing in the sword arena, against some undead he had summoned. It was hot outside, and Nico was sweating like crazy. Wearing all black didn't help. Not that he would ever resort to wearing the idiotic camp t-shirt. They could make him stay, but they couldn't make him wear the shirt. Not even once. He would like to see them try.

He had his hair somewhat tied back, which was embarrassing in itself. But hey, it was always in his face. He didn't want it to get in the way of his swordfighting. Will had once told him it was hot, which Nico highly doubted. Nico had thought it looked girly, but Will had insisted that it looked good. Well. Will wasn't here now, and he was sweating so much that his hair was falling around his face anyway.

At least there wasn't anyone here to see him. Besides the undead.

A gold blade caught his sword in mid swing.

I always speak too soon.

He countered, moving around to face Jason.

"Idiot," he growled.

"You don't think I can take you?" Jason said, amused.

Nico almost grunted from the effort it took to hold Jason's sword in place. Sometimes it sucked being smaller than everyone else. But the last thing he wanted to do was lose to him. Jason would never stop bragging.

"You've made a mistake, Jason."

Nico slashed upwards, fast, and Jason was forced to take a step backwards, then another. After recovering from the initial shock, he parried and their swords met, straining. Nico was forced to duck out to avoid being pushed back. Jason just smiled and followed.

Their swords met again, but this time Nico was more ready. He rolled out from under the blow and met Jason from behind. Soon he had him pinned against him, the Stygian Iron to his throat.

They were both panting.

"I wasn't trying," said Jason, after Nico released him.

"Sure you weren't."

"No, really."

Nico gave him a look.

"Just admit that I'm better."

"I don't think I can do that."

"Say it!"

"Fine. You're better."

"Thank you."

Nico knew under serious circumstances Jason would probably beat him, but whatever. He had won this time. He could summon skeletons to knock him out anytime he wanted to.

"But seriously, dude, you will not believe what I'm going to do tomorrow night," said Jason, sheathing his sword.

"What are you going to do?"

"Okay, so you know the fireworks?"

Jason looked excited. Nico thought that it would be best to humor him. He didn't have anything else to do, anyway.

"Yeah."

"Well, it's my first time going, since I haven't been at camp for very long. So it's kind of big deal, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. All the couples for the single people to complain about."

"Well, guess who won't be complaining?"

"Gee, I don't know, Jason, who?"

"Piper."

Nico rolled his eyes. "Well duh, you guys are dating."

"Yeah, but this our first big romantic event at camp. I want to do something cool you know, in honor of everything. So I have this plan."

"I'm listening."

"So tomorrow at the campfire, just when they're about to wrap up, I'm going to go to the center and say I have an announcement. But in reality, it'll be like a promposal!"

"What's a promposal?"

"Gods, Nico, not going to school certainly doesn't help the fact that you were born in the forties."

"Lay off."

"Sorry. Anyway, so I'll have flowers or a sign or something, and I'll give a long romantic speech or something, and then at the end, I'll be like 'Piper, I would be honored if you would go to the fireworks with me!' And then we'll kiss, and it'll be great."

"But aren't you guys already planning on going together? Since you guys are, you know, together?"

Jason flicked Nico's head.

"Ow! What the hell?!"

"You're the least romantic person I know. It'll be great, you'll see. I'm just showing her how much I love her."

showing how much I love her…

Wait…

"I can't believe you're doing that. How are you brave enough?"

"Well, it's not like she's going to reject me."

Will might reject me.

"Still, that's kind of embarrassing."

"It's worth it being embarrassed for a few seconds if it makes her happy. Plus, it's not like I don't know all the campers."

"Yeah…"

Jason frowned. "You have a weird look on your face. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing."

"How are you doing lately? I know you and Will aren't together anymore."

Nico imagined brakes screeching in his brain.

"Wait, what?"

Jason shrugged.

Nico grabbed his arm. "Jason! Who told you that we broke up!...And who told you that we were together?"

"Uh… Frank."

"And who told him?"

"Hazel."

"Oh my gods…"

"Nico, it's not like I didn't know you weren't together. It was really obvious."

"Really."

"You told me you liked him! Dude, you don't know how obvious it was. It was like waving a flag."

"Fuck…"

"A big rainbow flag."

"Okay, you know what?" Nico wanted to be mad, he really did. But he was so far gone at this point that he didn't have the heart to. "Whatever. It doesn't matter, because we're not together anymore."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, really, Jason."

"But aren't you gonna try to get back together with him?"

Nico sighed. "Well, yeah. But I can't think of anything and it's almost the end of camp anyway."

Jason was silent for a moment.

Nico could see his eyes storming, he could see something growing.

"Wait! I have an idea!"

There it is.

"When I ask Piper, you can ask Will!"

Nico had known it was coming, but it didn't make it any less astounding.

He imagined himself standing up there with Jason, in front of the camp fire, the flames licking shadows on his face. He could see all those people staring at him, and only him, he could practically feel his throat getting dry. And he could see Will, looking at him too, waiting for him to say something, maybe even a little bit surprised. It was all too much.

"No," Nico said automatically.

"You have to," said Jason, "this is your last chance."

"No!" Nico said with more force.

"Nico, this isn't you."

"Of course it is. I'm always 'unlucky in love,' aren't I?"

"No, I mean, you're the guy who shadow traveled across whole continents with a statue strapped to his back. You're the guy who faced Hades. You're the one who always dives straight into enemies and is totally badass!"

"So?"

"So, all that took guts. You're brave, Nico. So what it something small like this compared to a life or death situation? That's all I'm saying."

Nico was about to retaliate, but fell short.

He knew he was being rash. He knew he was being overdramatic. Frankly, he was being a brat. It was just that everything in his life had seemed to follow the same pattern, over and over again. So why should this be any different? Why should it succeed, this one among many, this seemingly inconsequential thing?

But it did have consequences. And maybe it was just because there were no wars to worry about anymore, but they seemed to loom ever larger over Nico's head, putting him in shadow. What if he lost Will forever? What if Nico went home this summer and didn't have the heart to come back, not without Will.

What if…

Nico was done with the what ifs.

He was Nico DiAngelo, that's who. Child of death. He could sure as hell do this.

Right?

What Jason said made sense. Though the Will problem seemed so large, was it really, in the grand scheme of things?

Here was his plan, laid out in front of him. Could he really not see it?

He had to do this. He had to.

"Fine, I'll do it. I'll ask him to the fireworks."

Jason grinned, and slapped Nico on the back. Nico almost fell over.

"Yes! In front of everyone?"

"Yeah, in front of everyone. I guess…"

"Too late, you already said you would do it. Don't worry, Nico, I've got it all under control."

"Oh gods."

"No, really. Just leave it to me."

"I'm not sure I trust you," said Nico, but he was smiling slightly now.

"Well, too bad."

But Nico could imagine it, that is, if it did go well.

The scene suddenly seemed inviting, the light warm.

And he could see Will's face, maybe; no it was clear to him. Happy. Very happy.

This was what Will wanted, wasn't it?

To show everyone how much he loved him.

That wasn't Nico's style, not at all. Nico was content with living in the shadows, staying back. But maybe that wasn't the right way to do things anymore.

And he would do it for Will, he would do anything for Will because he loved him, and the only thing he wanted was to be loved back.


	14. Chapter 14

Nico stood above the sign with his sleeves rolled up, paint all over his hands.

"Is it good?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's great!" said Jason. "It's super low-key, I think."

Baby, you're a firework! said the sign in neon lettering. Then more neon. And some stars. And some more stars.

"Low-key," Nico mused.

"Yeah," Jason agreed. Nico couldn't tell if he was being serious or not.

"We should've kept the portrait," said Jason, shaking his head.

"You painted Piper to look like Medusa."

"Did not!"

"Well, that's what it looked like."

"You're no fun. You can't talk, you didn't even want to make a sign for Will."

"Well, no," said Nico. He hoped he wasn't blushing. "It's embarrassing enough as it is."

"Then it won't matter if it's even more embarrassing!"

"It doesn't work that way."

"I still think you should paint your face rainbow."

"No."

"Fine, Will likes guitar, you can serenade him."

"No."

"You guys can kiss in front of everyone!"

"No."

"Damn, Nico, lighten up."

Jason started to clean up the art supplies. Nico watched him, and felt bad. Look how hard he was working for Piper. For Nico. And Nico had only contributed a dozen poorly painted stars, and succeeded in spilling paint on the Zeus cabin floor. The cleaning harpies were going to throw a fit.

But he couldn't help it. He didn't believe he had ever felt more nervous in his life. Jason didn't need to worry, Piper would say yes no matter what. But Will… their final exchange still haunted Nico. He could still see it in clarity, and to remember the look in Will's eyes was to remember the sadness and the reproachfulness in his words, and to remember that made Nico sure that Will would never want to be with him again. He had not left himself, in tears, Nico had pushed him…

So why the hell would Will suddenly want to reconcile? What difference would a cheesy sign and teddy bear make? And yet it made all the difference. For what was to come would take place in front of everyone, in front of them and the sky and the gods to judge. And Nico would put himself out there, more than he had ever before.

He remembered the humiliation he had suffered at the hands of Cupid. If he had thought that was bad, it was only in front of Jason. Now it was in front of hundreds of others. He had to remind himself that the connotation was different. This time, he had support. There was no one out looking to ruin him.

Or was there? Nico could never be sure, and to be honest he didn't know, or even like most of the people at camp-

Shut up!

How many times had Nico doubted himself? How many times had he torn himself down, bitten his tongue, stayed dissolved half-hidden in the shadows? He hated that feeling more than anything. And yet he was forced into that position, again and again. Almost as if by his own doing.

But this time, he had a choice.

So maybe he should take it.

And it was because of Will that he would.

He didn't think he had ever known until he had met Will. He didn't think he had laughed, he didn't think he had cried. He didn't think he had loved until he had loved Will.

And he still did.

And maybe Will still loved him back. He had to. That was the only thing keeping Nico from turning on his heel and running away for good.

In the corner of his mind, he could see him. Turning around, his face slightly surprised, mouth slightly open, his lips barely parted. And then a smile, breaking out bright like the sun, projecting out a beam, like a spotlight. Would it happen like that? If it would, than Nico would do anything to see Will like that. Again, maybe, but it seemed like so long ago that he didn't really know.

He swallowed hard.

"Sorry, Jason. It's just... "

"Just what?" said Jason, moving closer. He was interested now, Nico could tell. He wanted to know what Nico would say, and Nico was reluctant to say it. Out loud, it sounded so stupid. Nothing like Nico DiAngelo, Ghost King, monster slayer, et cetera, et cetera. He didn't want to admit what he was feeling, not even now. It had always been hard, almost excruciatingly so.

"It's just that I'm scared, that's all."

There. He had said it. Out loud.

He saw Jason's face soften somewhat.

"Wow, I never thought I'd hear you say that."

"Shut up."

"No, it's kind of… I don't know. Good, I guess?"

Nico didn't say anything. Jason smiled and draped an arm around Nico's shoulders.

"Don't be scared, dude! This is all going to go great, trust me."

"When has it ever been a good idea to trust you?"

"That doesn't matter. Trust yourself. You can do this! It's going to be great, and Will will love it. LIke really. You're quite a catch, Nico."

Nico pulled away. "Are you hitting on me?"

"No way, man! I mean, I guess if I had to pick a guy, then you… well, actually maybe Percy…"

"Jason, just stop!"

"But then again, we're bros, so it might be weird-"

"Jason, just stop talking. Please."

Jason laughed. "I'm just teasing. But seriously…"

"No."

"Okay. Sorry. Point is, is that you have nothing to be afraid of. You're great!

"Really?"

"Yeah! And so is Will. And with me in the mix, you can't go wrong!"

"That sounds wrong."

"How so?"

"...Never mind. Thanks."

"No problem."

Nico sighed. "Well, I'm going to go..get ready." He turned to leave.

As he was walking away, Jason called to him one last time.

"Hey Nico!"

"Yeah?"

"This is all going to turn out okay!"

"Thanks, Jason."

Nico couldn't help but smile.

Nico had never really cared what he wore. Honestly, black matched black and that was pretty much the only color that he owned. As he looked through his wardrobe now, it seemed stupid. Why were there so many skulls? Like, seriously. Way too many skulls. He thought of Will, who thought it was cool, and it almost made him laugh.

So should he wear the shirt that had lots of little skulls on it? Or one big skull?

Oh my gods does it really even matter?

But it did. He wanted everything to be perfect. As perfect as it could be, at least. And this was a small thing, but at least it was something that he had control over. So maybe that's why he was so stressed about every minute detail. More probably, he was just trying to buy time.

Forty-five minutes. That was all that was left before the campfire started, and Nico would face his inevitable doom. Ugh. He had to stop thinking like that! What about forty five minutes until happiness, or forty five minutes until the best moment of his life? Something optimistic. Nico felt as if his mind was folding in on itself, not working properly. His thoughts came disjointed, hurriedly; rapid fire against his head. It was giving him a headache.

He looked at himself in the mirror. After maybe half an hour he had finally decided on what to wear. And surprise surprise, it was pretty much what he wore everyday. Black jeans, black shirt… even his hair was pretty much black. Oh well. At least it wouldn't look like he was trying too hard, right?

He was overwhelmingly nervous. The cabin seem strangely empty, and he remembered all the times that Will had been in there with him. And in those times the cabin had seemed to be full, even though there were only two people inside. Funny. Maybe it had been Will's laugh that had filled it, or maybe his presence. Or maybe it had been the force of the two of them together, something larger than both of them. Something intangible but real, certainly real, Nico missed it more than he could say. But yet he could never put a finger on the feeling, much less identify it. It was just there, when Will was with him, and gone when he was not. Nico wanted that feeling back. He really did.

Looking at his reflection now, he really did look like a child. Not just his features (fucking Jason had once called them 'delicate' ) but his expression. He looked lost, almost, he moved closer and saw himself staring back at him, dark eyes that Will had always said were hard to read. And yet underneath they were older, from everything that had happened before. It bothered Nico that they were always with him, those things, when they should remain in the past. But maybe sometimes it was better to let them out? It didn't seem like such a good idea now. But maybe if tonight went well, he would reconsider.

He ran his hands through his hair, wishing he had a comb. Oh well. He didn't have any cologne either. He remembered that Will always smelled like Axe. Nico had always associated that smell with annoying middle school boys, but on Will it was almost...endearing. Like Will thought it was cool, or something. Nico splashed water on his face. Maybe that would help? Maybe?

Eight minutes to go. Seven, six… ah, he was going to be late if he didn't hurry. He threw on his shoes and forced himself out the door.

He saw the rest of the campers heading to the fire pit, laughing with each other, talking. He bet that none of them knew what he was about to do. Or would even guess.

Won't they be surprised.

It gave him a grim sort of satisfaction to know that, for whatever reason.

When he reached the campfire it was just turning dark. He was a little late, the seats were almost filled; but Jason had saved him a seat up front. He sat down, greeted everyone, and looked around to see if he could find Will.

Will was in the front too, but way off to the side. Nico didn't want to make accidental eye contact, but he still looked. He saw him there, in the middle of his siblings, smiling and laughing. Nico loved the way that Will smiled with his eyes. He really was like the sun, as stupid as that sounded. He was wearing cargo shorts and flip flops, even though it was getting cold. His hair was messy but seemed to catch the light of the fire, and Nico thought that it looked sort of like a halo. His face… Nico could look at it all day.

And then Will glanced in his direction and Nico quickly pretended that he was talking Annabeth. Very awkwardly. Gods, when was he not awkward?

When the campfire started, he was barely listening. His heart pounded in his ears, and he could feel dread start to snake into stomach, and settle heavily. The people around him seemed to be a blur of color and light. He felt disconnected from them, alone in clarity, and he sat with his shoulders hunched forward, wondering what the hell he thought he was doing.

Oh my gods, is this really happening right now? Am I actually doing this?

But he was. He knew he had to. And he only had to look at Will to remind himself that he must go through with it.

A while later Jason nudged him too hard and Nico looked up, only to see Will on stage. He had his guitar and he was with some of his other siblings, but he was in the middle and he seemed to be glowing; Nico could practically feel his energy, coming off of him, infecting everyone around him. Will always had that effect. Especially on Nico.

The group started singing some stupid song about the Minotaur but Nico could not take his eyes off Will, just everything he was, his fingers fretting chords, the way he tossed his hair out of his face, his giant smile; just the sheer gold that radiated out of him.

He loved Will. He was in love with him. A million times over, a thousand reasons why; he was in love with Will Solace and suddenly he didn't care if everyone knew it.

In that moment, he felt like that. He heard Will's voice, sweetly but slightly off key, and he knew that it was true.

Oh, how could something feel so right but be so nerve wracking at the same time?

The song was over too soon and Will was back in his seat, holding his guitar between his legs.

And before Nico knew it, the campfire was almost over, and Jason stood up. Nico's stomach seized up much too fast.

Jason walked to the middle of the stage, and someone handed him a mike. The crowd grew quiet, and Annabeth whispered with Piper, who hid her face in her hands.

Jason spoke. "So, as all of you know, the fireworks are coming up." He flashed a smile.

How can he be so confident?

A couple of people whooped. Girls began to whisper. Piper turned an even deeper shade of red. Or at least that's what Nico thought, her face was in her hands.

"So… Piper, if you would join me up here…"

The noise swelled, and Annabeth pushed Piper off the bench and she made her way to Jason, who took her hand.

"You already know what I'm going to ask, but-"

He unrolled the poster.

"Will you go to the fireworks with me?"

Piper laughed, and they looked at each other for a moment, and Nico could tell that they were really really into each other. They didn't look at anyone else like that but each other, and their gaze seemed to melt into each other and they kissed. The crowd went crazy.

Nico swallowed, hard. His hands were shaking. He could barely hear the cheers, they seemed to fade in and out of focus, like a bad radio connection. He saw Piper and Jason pull apart and Jason bring the mike up to his mouth again…

"And before I forget… I need to invite one more person up on stage tonight."

The crowd continued to cheer. They probably thought Percy was going to ask Annabeth.

"So, Nico, come on up."

A hush rippled through the crowd.

Nico moved mechanically to his feet. This was like a dream. He wasn't sure what kept him moving, but something did, and he forced himself to think of Will. The crowd began to whisper behind him, he could imagine what they were saying…

No! He was going to do this. He had to.

You can do this, you can do this…

He repeated it over and over in his head. Where had that feeling gone that he had felt not so long ago, watching Will perform? That he didn't care who knew? Why couldn't he get that feeling back? He knew it was still there, but it was hidden by fear, and right now that was eclipsing everything.

But somehow he made it on stage, and took the mike with shaky hands from Jason's grip.

It was silent.

It was so silent.

In the crowd he saw Will's face. He was shocked, his mouth hanging open, before he quickly closed it, trying to regain his composure. Nico saw him cling onto the guitar, saw his face harden. Maybe he thought Nico was going to ask someone else? A girl? He had to do this quickly.

Say something already!

He looked one last time at Will, even at a distance he could see his eyes, how blue they were, and how maybe they were a little hopeful. Just a little. But also confused, very confused. He saw his face, his freckles all but gone in the semi darkness, and Nico knew that he wanted to make Will smile again. He knew he would give anything for it. And this was his chance.

He cleared his throat. The sound echoed around the arena. Nico cringed. Jason patted him hard on the back, and there was laughter.

"So, um… hi. I'm Nico."

He almost groaned.

They already know that, dumbass!

He saw Will smile a little, just a tad, before his face was wiped clear again.

"I guess you guys already know that."

Silence. Nico had never hated it so much, nor had it ever felt so stifling.

"I never thought I'd be doing this, but, um, I've liked someone for a long time."

A little less silent now.

"It was going well, and then I kind of fucked it up."

"Watch your language!" he heard Chiron yell from somewhere behind him.

More people laughed. But Nico couldn't stop now. He was on a roll. Well, apart from how bad he was delivering this. Man, he would never live this down. He forced himself to smile, somewhat, he was sure that if he was in the crowd, it would be funny. But he wasn't in the crowd, that was the thing; he was in the middle of the stage, alone, and he had something he had to do.

"Sorry. But, the point is, I want to make things right. So, Will-"

Will stood straight up, like a rocket, before Nico had time to finish his sentence. He seemed embarrassed, momentarily, but it quickly passed. His eyes met Nico's and he looked at him as if to say, really? is this really real?

Nico nodded slightly, and motioned for him to come on stage.

Will's face broke out into the biggest smile Nico had ever seen.

He could barely hear the crowd, going crazy by now, because he could only focus on Will, Will who was smiling so perfectly and who looked so perfect and walked so perfect Nico thought he would die, and he would be okay with it. All his nerves seemed to vanish at once. And Will ran to the stage, and the cheers behind him were there, but Nico didn't even care. He just wanted Will, to hold him in his arms again, to have him for his own. Once again, and a million times over.

"So, Will, will you go to the fireworks with-"

And Will crashed into him and hugged him so hard that Nico almost fell over.

Nico could hardly believe it was real, how could it be, when everything was so perfect?

They pulled apart and Will was still smiling and Nico was too, and Nico could see nothing else but Will's face, beautiful in the fire's light, and hear their breathing, together, as if they were the same.

Maybe they were.

"I take it that's a yes, then," said Nico.

"Yes. Yes. A million times yes!" shouted Will.

And when they kissed, Nico didn't even care that Will swept him off his feet.

The crowd cheered behind them, and this time Nico could hear it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This story is originally from my fanfiction.net account.


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